“Reign Over Me”
It is actually a page from my diary. I used to have a diary, but it was so long time ago, that I barely remember what I used to write there. This time the idea was to find out the way out of my misery. I was longing for understanding. I felt very alone. So here it goes. The story.
April 1, 2007.
The day was reserved for an outing with Daniel and possibly with Nina and Masha. However, it began raining in the morning. All of a sudden, Nikolai did not feel like going anywhere. That is his usual feeling. I suggested going to the Royal Ontario Museum to see the Peru Exhibition. It turned out that Nik needed more mental preparation for such an excursion (a month, perhaps, will do!!!)
Shopping was not on his list of priorities either. It never is. So I went alone. To the movies. “Reign Over Me” with Adam Sandler. I cried through half of it, partly for Sandler’s character and partly for myself. I am very traumatized by this relationship(s):
- conflict-laiden marriage;
- demanding, illogical, unhappy, agressive mother;
- father who lost 50% of his mental abilities and tripled his ability to infuriate.
Nikolai gave me a lift there. On our way, he said that I was crazy and needed treatment, that I behaved like a child and that I did not want to take any responsibilities. He also suggested that I took a taxi in order to get home. Which I did. (The most annoying driver and $25 – the cost of our argument).
I had a lunch, ironically in a restaurant where I was almost ALONE, which suited my situation and my mood (talking about moods, apparently my moods were and are a big problem).
Later at home I became hysterical and suicidal, which surprised me a lot, because lately I felt a lot more in control.
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Posted on July 15th, 2009 under Films • Tags: diary, Films, marriage, reviews. •
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