Ö       Maybe I lost my steam.

Ö       Maybe I am not interested in the story anymore.

Ö       Maybe I am just tired.

Ö       Maybe something (or somebody) killed my inspiration.

But I know I must finish the story.  So, from what angle should I approach this JVS business?

Remember my JVS Profile? 

I was Blue (14) – Green (10) – Gold (9) – Orange (7).

But not for long.  Once I read the book “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”, I started doing it.  Doing it despite my fear…  I overcame my fear and became a rather scary person for others.  This society is ruled by FEAR.  So, I started discovering that my second defining COLOUR is Orange, not Green.  I started doing things that I have never done before.  Instead of complying, conforming and generally being a good girl, I started pushing the boundaries and testing the waters.  In order to find out what will happen if I do this and that, I should not sit and speculate, I should do it.  That how testing is done.  Call it research.  I call it CRIME AND PUNISHMENT.  ACTION AND CONSEQUENCE.

The next day after JVS had kicked me out (had asked me nicely to go), I went to the hospital (Scarborough Grace it was called in 2007, well no longer, but does it matter?) and I did a research there on how they would they treat me.  Oh, boy. Did I get results?

The Hospital stories are yet to come.  For now, I will try to finish the JVS Story.

I dedicate this story and all of my other stories to the people who are powerless when it comes to dealing with Systems.  In short, I dedicate my writing to the absolute majority of the population.  Not only in Canada.  Everywhere.

First, I was Blue

When I was born (in my country of Origin) “delivery personnel” picked me up and said to my mother “It’s a boy” in a dismissive manner.  Usually, it is either a boy or a girl.  Wait, you already know this if you are old enough to read this.  However, you may not know, that in my country of Origin it was not customary to actually show a child to a mother.  Why bother?  She will have the rest of her life to look at her offspring.   Just because I was misdiagnosed so early in life, the “delivery personnel” bended the rules a little bit, five minutes after I was born, first of all I was no longer referred to as a boy…and second of all, I was actually showed to my mother.

            – To be continued

 Before I was diagnosed with mentality, I joined This program.  It specializes in helping women who are no longer indecently young yet still do not know how find meaningful employment or at least sustainable careers.  Me, me and me.  Middle aged, overeducated, unemployed with no idea how to make a transition from this to what?  I qualified, career exploration was right up my valley, and so I joined This Program.  Simple.  Little that I knew that it would take me to places I did not know existed.  That is my story.

I studied for too many years, so I consider myself being a good student.  Revision.  I know I am a good student.  On Day 1, I was given the Manual (the Binder), which had the answer.  In order to get it, I had to complete the steps.  Step by step, day-by-day I followed The Manual religiously.  Step by step, day by day. Some people said that I took it too literally, but it was meant to be taken literally.  To prove me wrong, join This program and try to do the program figuratively.  We will compare results later.  You might end up with a story that is far more interesting than mine. 

In my opinion, I did everything right, however, on Day 7, I was kicked out of the program.  Why?  Because I did what I was told to do.  I overcame my fear.  I made a transition from Pain to Power.  It was, however, perceived, that I was too intense, too scary, too powerful.  I had too many problems.  I was no longer welcome to the group, but I still had the right to see my Counsellor.

On Day 8, I came to Emergency of This Hospital to help me relax (from all the stress or stressors ) and I was locked for 72 hours on the grounds that I could be a menace to a society and myself.  I was not, but that the professionals would rather follow the rules of the System, embrace the Power of Assumption, but not listen to their minds and hearts.

            – To be continued

1. April 23, 2007    — Intake.

2. May 7, 2007       — Career Exploration Group, Day 1 (Facilitator #1 and Facilitator #2).

3. May 14, 2007     — Crisis, immediate intervenion, immediate counselling resources.

4. May 14, 2007    — Life Crisis Counsellour # 1 (Not JVS)

5. May 15, 2007    — Crisis – Manager – Intervention: “We cannot have in the group”.  Why? Because you disrupt the workshop for other participants. (In other words, they kicked me out).

6. May 16, 2007   — Action Plan # 2 – Scarborough Grace Hospital (Smart Move!!!)