A Dark Horse

I have done this analysis before.  Once I walked in an Art Shop and met a nice young man by the name William who actually had read “Crime and Punishment” by Dostoevsky.  We had a heated discussion and I said that I was not quite sure that foreigners were even close to understanding Dostoevsky because of the way he wrote.  Something must be lost in translation.  William did agree, and expressed that “colour yellow” was lost in translation.  The discussion was not limited to “Crime and Punishment”, Dostoevsky, literature or colours for that matter.  At the time I was very much interested in the Personality Dimensions of Blue – Orange – Green – Gold variety and suggested that we find out William’s colours.  He said that he would be willing to do that only if I agreed to do go through the Cube Personality Test.  I don’t remember his colours, but I remember this story.

And I remember vividly my own results of the Cube Personality Test.  Do you know why William was so adamant about the Cube Personality Test?  He thought I was “so full of myself”.  He couldn’t be more wrong.

The questions he asked me were not exactly the same as I found just recently on the Internet, but I will try to tell the story as accurately as I possibly can.

First of all, there was no white room.  He asked me to imagine a scene and myself in it.  So I imagined myself on the ocean shore, walking on the beach, feet in the water, eyes looking down at my feet, occasionally looking up at the scenery, green and mountainous, beautiful beyond imagination.

Source: http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Salt-Cay-Turks-and-Caicos-Islands-Posters_i3689447_.htm

Cube.

I don’t remember whether he suggested that I should imagine a WHITE cube.  But I did.  It was far away in the ocean, fairly small in size.  So, I was not “full of myself” at all, far from it and my ego was smaller in 2008, than it is now in 2010.  But it is true, I have learned a lot from my experiences in these two years and I gained some confidence.  The fact that the cube was white…  Either it was according to his suggestion, or I did not hide from others who I was at that moment.

Flowers.

There were no flowers in his scenario.

Ladder.

Ladder was also white, fairly small in size, floating in the water, obviously in a horizontal position.  No interpretation needed.  No goals, no aspiration, no ambition.  Or all of it was in a slumber state.

Source: http://thumb18.shutterstock.com.edgesuite.net/photos/display_pic_with_logo/182188/182188,1242375239,1.jpg

By the way, it is not what I imagined, but when I was looking for an  image, I could not resist.  I so do love spirals and twists!

Horse.

He asked for the colour of the horse.  I had trouble picking between black and white.  I chose black in the end.  The horse was running towards me.  I don’t know why I was so perplexed with the horse images and still I remember mostly this horse.  In Russian, we have an expression “a dark horse”, meaning somebody with fairly inconspicuous looks who turns out to be a winner quite unexpectedly.  I guess it is the same in English.  If that horse is running towards me and I haven’t seen it yet, it probably means, that the horse has quite a journey.  I am still curious.  Really!

Source: http://www.blessedbylife.com/images/blackhorsebeach.jpg

That is my horse precisely, my dream has been photographed.

Rainstorm.

Rainstorm is far in the ocean, but the sky is darkening and the storm is quite serious.

Source: http://www.roadsideoregon.com/?cat=3

I don’t know about you, but I had fun doing this test.  I love imagery and it is quite memorable.  Now it is time to go back to my challenges (opportunities)!

By the way, I just decided to test my parents.  It was so much fun.  My mom’s ego is red and bigger than mine, my dad’s ego is BLACK (help! what does that mean?) and the same size as mine.  Really, you should try it!

At 8:00 PM, on Monday, August 14, 2000, I finally sat to complete my incident report. My original understanding of the assignment was that I had to disengage myself from the events in the class and describe the incident in the parking lot as if I were an eye witness to it. My handwritten report clearly reflects my original intention. However, when I started typing this report, I realized that that scenario was impossible. If I had to engage my imagination then I would have stepped on a slippery road of constructive processing of the event which is inadmissible in writing incident reports. Firstly, it is very unlikely, that if I was somewhere I did not know where I was. Secondly, I am not deaf yet, and if I were a witness of an incident, I would have heard something. Thirdly, although I do not consider myself too observant, I have a tendency of noticing many details in real life or remembering phrases exactly as they were said. However, my ability to pay attention and recollect continuity of flickering TV shots and their contents is far less sharp than my ability to recollect events of real life. I attribute it to the compressed nature of videotapes. If I had to run to the parking lot, it would have taken me longer than a split of a second. Lastly, the total absence of emotion makes this simulation is less real. Apart from my ongoing frustration, I cannot say that I was not in emotional state. Therefore, I think that the incident was a lesson in Professional Writing and the outcome will be a submitted report.

I am going to submit this report to Julian Craft at 9:00 AM on Tuesday,  August 15, 2000.  After that, I will have no further control of the outcome of this incident.