The eye is completely subjective

The eye is a question of an attitude

The eye may lose itself

If it has not neither a story, nor substance

The eye is perhaps the perfect definition of the soul

In any case, it is strange, fathomless, but fascinating.

Sylvie Montagnon

Source: http://www.thelifechangeexperiment.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/decision-making-processes1.jpg

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” (Helen Keller)

Remembering the art of reframing  -  life is not a struggle, but an adventure.  So, forget about nothing, it is too much of an abstract idea.  Life cannot be nothing, but we can perceive it differently.  “Get a life!” say some.  It is, of course, not only rude, but also absurd.  All of us are alive; the question is what to do with those lives.  That is a matter of choice.  When we make choices, we make decisions and control our lives to a certain degree.  Correction.  Not to a certain degree, we are in total control, yet most of the time completely unaware of it.  I am trying to change my view on how to make decisions.  There is one post I made on making decisions,

http://www.altrealm.com/english/chapters/2009-07-26/jvs-wise-10-steps-in-decision-making/

But when I compared it with the strategy suggested by Anthony Robbins, I see that he is more relaxed about choices.  The most important part is to reach the destination, the route is less crucial.  Besides, we cannot possibly know all the outcomes of all the alternatives.  So we make decisions based on the information we have, which is always insufficient, inaccurate and “a subject to change without notice.”

Harness the Power of Making Decision

Anthony Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within”, Chapter 2, page  48

Remember the true power of making decisions.

It’s a tool you can use in any moment to change your entire life.  The minute you make a new decision, you set in motion a new cause, effect, direction, and destination for your life.  You literally begin to change your life the moment you make a new decision.  Remember that when you start feeling overwhelmed, or when you feel like you don’t have a choice, or when you feel like you don’t have a choice, or when things are happening “to” you, you can change it all if you just stop and decide to do so.  Remember, a real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken new action.  If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.

Realize that the hardest step in achieving anything is making a true commitment – a true decision.

Carrying out your commitment is often much easier than the decision itself, so make your decisions intelligently, but make them quickly.  Don’t labor forever over the question of how or if you can do it.  Studies have shown that the most successful people make decisions rapidly because they are clear on their values and what they really want for their lives.  The same studies show that they are slow to change their decisions, if at all.  On the other hand, people who fail usually make decisions slowly and change their minds quickly, always bouncing back and forth.  Just decide!

Realize that decision-making is a kind of act in itself, so a good definition for a decision might be “information acted upon”.  You know you’ve truly made a decision when action flows from it.  It becomes a cause set in motion.  Often the effect of making a decision helps create the attainment of a larger goal.  A critical rule I’ve made for myself is never to leave the scene of a decision without first taking a specific action toward its realization.

Make decisions often

The more decisions you make, the better you’re going to become at making them.  Muscles get stronger with use, and so it is with your decision-making muscles.  Unleash your power right now by making some decisions you’ve been putting off.  You won’t believe the energy and excitement it will create in your life!

Learn from your decisions.

There’s no way around it.  At times, you’re going to screw up, no matter what you do.  And when the inevitable happens, instead of beating yourself into the ground, learn something.  Ask yourself, “What’s good about this?  What can I learn from this?”  This “failure” may be an unbelievable gift in disguise if you use it to make better decisions in the future.  Rather than focus on the short-term setback, choose instead to learn lessons that can save you time, money, or pain, and that will give you the ability to succeed in the future.

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.

Once you’ve decided who you want to be as a person, for example, don’t get stuck on the means to achieving it.  It’s the end you’re after.  Too often, in deciding what they want for their lives, people pick the best way they know at the time – they make a map – but then don’t stay open to alternate routes.  Don’t become rigid in your approach.  Cultivate the art of flexibility.

Enjoy making decisions.

You must know that in any moment a decision you make can change the course of your life forever: the very next person you stand behind in line or sit next to on an airplane, the book you read or page you turn could be the one single thing that causes the floodgates to open, and all of the things that you’ve been waiting for to fall into place.

If you really want your life to be passionate, you need to live with this attitude of expectancy.

[…]

Know that it’s your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.  Before we learn the technology for changing how you think and how you feel every day of your life, I want you remember that, in the final analysis, everything you’ve read in this book is worthless… every other book you’ve read or tape you’ve heard or seminar you’ve attended is worthless…unless you decide to use it.  Remember that a truly committed decision is the force that changes your life.  It’s a power available to you in any moment if you decide to use it.

Prove to yourself that you’ve decided now.  Make one or two decisions that you’ve been putting off: one easy decision and one that’s a bit more difficult.  Show yourself what you can do.  Right now, stop.  Make at least one clear-cut decision that you’ve been putting off – take the first action toward fulfilling it – and stick to it!  By doing this, you’ll be building that muscle that will give you the will to change your entire life.

You and I both know that there are going to be challenges in your future.  But […] if you’ve decided to get past the walls, you can climb over them, you can break through them, you can tunnel under them, or you can find a door.  No matter how long a wall has stood, none has the power to withstand the continued force of human beings who have decided to persist until it has fallen.  The human spirit truly is unconquerable.  But the will to win, the will to succeed, to shape’s one life, to take control, can only be harnessed when you decide what you want, and believe that no challenge, no problem, no obstacle can keep you from it.  When you decide that your life will ultimately be shaped not by conditions, but by your decisions, then in that moment, your life will change forever, and you will be empowered to take control…

Succeed (ME < L succedere <sub -  up (to) + cedere go)

1. turn out well; prosper : His plans succeeded. Any able person who works well can succeed..
2. accomplish what is attempted or intended: The attack succeeded beyond all expectations.  After much discussion, Jill succeeded in convincing her father that she needed her own car.

Of course, in a philosophical sense of the word, it is much harder to define what success really is.  Or failure for that matter.

Source: http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r320/nizz6pics/success.jpg

Quotes on Success:

“Success is not access to excess.” Anonymous

 

 

“The two hardest things to handle in life are failure & success.” Anonymous

 

 

“Yielding is sometimes the best way of succeeding.” Anonymous

 

 

“You cannot sit on the road to success, for if you do, you will get run over.” Anonymous

 

 

“A successful man continues to look for work after he has found a job.” Anonymous

 

 

“Health, happiness and success depend upon the fighting spirit of each person. The big thing is not what happens to us in life – but what we do about what happens to us.” George Allen

 

 

“Act as though it is impossible to fail.” Anonymous

 

 

“Choice, not circumstances, determines your success.” Anonymous

 

 

“Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running.” Zig Ziglar

 

 

”If you care at all, you’ll get some results.  If you care enough, you’ll get incredible results.” Jim Rohn

 

 

“Every one of us, unconsciously, works out a personal philosophy of life, by which we are guided, inspired, and corrected, as time goes on. It is this philosophy by which we measure out our days, and by which we advertise to all about us the man, or woman, that we are. . . . It takes but a brief time to scent the life philosophy of anyone. It is defined in the conversation, in the look of the eye, and in the general mien of the person. It has no hiding place. It’s like the perfume of the flower — unseen, but known almost instantly. It is the possession of the successful, and the happy. And it can be greatly embellished by the absorption of ideas and experiences of the useful of this earth.” George Matthew Adams

 

 

“Success comes before work only in the dictionary.” Anonymous

 

 

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”  Dr. Joyce Brothers

 

 

“Men are failures, not because they are stupid, but because they are not sufficiently impassioned.”  Struther Burt

 

 

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” Winston Churchill

Discourse

When I talk about definitions, I think it is important.  For me, at least.

A discourse – a conversation, talk. (apart from other meanings).

Origin: Latin dis – in different directions + currere – run.

An example?  Oh, my goodness!  I often listen to the songs on the www.youtube.com.  And how many times I had encountered absolutely insane conversations!  Most of the time I just don’t even pay attention to what is there.  But once I was asked whether I am aware of the discussions under the clips.  Then I sort of started paying attention.

I picked a clip teaching beginners’ steps for Salsa.  And a discourse jewel on top.  Here it is – a priceless example of meanness and creativity.  And one of the participants had a good point, when he mentioned the importance of definitions.

************************************************************************

Participant 1:

Following your line of thinking, Spanish is actually a retarded deformation of Latin and Arabic.

Notwithstanding the fact that you are unaware of the definition of the words:

1) retarded

2) language

3) dialect

the fact remains that you are neither intelligent, nor insightful, nor useful as a human being. I hereby order you, in the name of the survival of the species, to cease existing immediately.

************************************************************************

I was just wondering what drives those conversations.  Some people would say anger.  But I am beginning to think that it is pure loneliness.  Maybe both.

Quotes on Discourse:

1. “All discourses but my own afflict me; they seem harsh, impertinent, and irksome”

(Ben Jonson)

 

2. “Of our thinking it is but the upper surface that we shape into articulate thought; underneath the region of argument and conscious discourse lies the region of meditation.”

(Thomas Carlyle)

 

3. “It’s our tendency to approach every problem as if it were a fight between two sides. We see it in headlines that are always using metaphors for war. It’s a general atmosphere of animosity and contention that has taken over our public discourse.”

(Deborah Tannen)

4. “The only privilege literature deserves – and this privilege it requires in order to exist – is the privilege of being in the arena of discourse, the place where the struggle of our languages can be acted out.”

(Salman Rushdie)

 

5. “Discourse may want an animated “No”

 

To brush the surface, and to make it flow;

 

But still remember, if you mean to please,

 

To press your point with modesty and ease.”

(William Cowper)

 

6. “The failures of the press have contributed immensely to the emergence of a talk-show nation, in which public discourse is reduced to ranting and raving and posturing.”

(Carl Bernstein)

“And Your Point being?” versus “Do you have a sense of humour?”

“Mein Lieber A.” (a friend of mine) and I had a few conversations and most of them ended up by him asking the question “And your point being?” and me asking “Do you have a sense of humour?”

I know he does.  But sometimes it becomes a bit frustrating when my jokes totally miss the target.  Wait, do jokes have targets?  Like cannons?  They do and they don’t.

I looked up the word “humour”.  Apparently I did not know all of its meanings.

“A state of mind; mood; disposition” – does not seem to be far out.

“A fancy; whim”

“Any of various body fluids formerly supposed to determine a person’s health and disposition.  They were blood, phlegm, choler (yellow bile), and melancholy (black bile).”

Surprise, surprise!

If you have to think of it, it might seem funny – that our sense of humour is derived from bodily fluids.  The word “humour” itself means in its origin fluid.

Maybe because humour is fluid and elusive.  I doubt it, though.

Well, anyways, the most common meaning of “Sense of Humour” now is “the ability to see or show the funny or amusing side of things.”

Some quotes on the subject.

Humor is the harmony of the heart. (Douglas William Jerrold)

 

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. (Leo Rosten)

 

What an ornament and safeguard is humor!

Far better than wit for a poet and writer.

It is a genius itself, and so defends from the insanities.  (Sir Walter Scott)

What is humour for me?  Everything.  Salvation. Absolution.  State of mind (absolutely!).  My style of communication.  And without a sense of humour there is no mutual understanding.  Humour is my life.  My anchor. Or my wings? Oh, well, maybe a painkiller once in a while.  Whatever it is, of whatever quality (right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, light, dark), it is mine and mine only, it can never be taken from me.  Well, unless I lose my mind.

And what is my mind?

What I mean is

It is very much a rough draft, but there won’t be a final version.  This is my diary, my writing space, and my attempt to get to the Point Of Things.  For that, I have to get out of the mess, I had got myself into.

So free writing in a free style.  Flying Free…………

I have been told and admired and complimented on the clearness of my thinking and the ability to express myself.  But sometimes when I get to be too clear, people get offended, so I have to learn how to use the words to do the opposite.  Cloud and disguise the meaning or just say something and mean nothing.  The best thing is, of course, to remain silent, but it is not always possible and that, too, might be regarded offensive.  Moreover, I have to work on my ability to resist temptation to react to whatever is around me.  Maybe just hold it for a while and take it to a different place and then go ahead with self-expression.  The best place is where nobody is around!

And then SCREAM: “What the F-CK!”  or “What a F-cking Day!”

I wish I had a screaming place, but I don’t.  Well, moving on.

Apparently, we miscommunicate quite often.  If not always.  We misunderstand.  Each other, ourselves.  We don’t bother to check once in a while if we use words in its proper meaning.  What are the dictionaries for?  Who cares?  I do.

Sometimes, I ask people to define or explain.  Not for fun, but to get to the core of things.  So we get closer to mutual understanding.  My words are balance and harmony, not f-words (like Frustration).  But mutual understanding more often than not turns out to be “mission impossible”.  “Definition Game” can be funny, ridiculous, or downright depressing.  People are offended when they realize that they cannot define even the most common words on the spot.  I know it is not such an easy task, to begin with, but it should make us think, find out, analyze, do some cleaning in our minds.  Clean our language.  Believe it or not, it is doable.

Cleaning

Let me call it Spring Cleaning.  But it is January, I have been told.  So?  Do you have a sense of humour?  What is sense of humour?  Whose?  Mine, yours.  Or mine is definitely or definitively of a wrong type.  That I’ve been told, too.  What is right? What is wrong?  Do you have an idea of conversations I sometimes get myself into?  But I am clearly out of my mind.  So is everybody else, by the way.  Out of my mind, that is.  Do I have a point?  There you go.  So, we have something in common, collectively being out of my mind.

You can relax, I am just playing with words.  The point is…  The point is Point Zero. 

That was one of my posts in the very beginning.

http://www.altrealm.com/english/conversations/2008-08-30/what-is-your-point/

What I mean is…  Isn’t it the hardest things to explain, what the hell we mean, when we ourselves have no idea.  Well, most of the time.

So, I am doing some cleaning in my room, in my life and at the same time, I just keep notes.

Let’s play a definition game.

Let’s define a…  Wait, what is a definition?  Why don’t I start with the definition of a definition?

I will make it short.

A definition is an essence an explanation.

Definitive is conclusive, final. Or.  Limiting, defining, distinguishing.

So, every definition is limiting by its nature.

Going back to the root of the word:  definire <de – from + finis – boundary>

Problem solved.  Define means to set or settle limits.

And there is example from the dictionary.

Perseverance usually defines success.

Reframing è Perseverance usually limits success.

I will not be defining now “perseverance”, “usually”, or especially “success”.  What an thankless task!  I am not quite sure if I made things clearer, or messed them slightly up, but at least I can laugh at it.  That is one of the ways I can entertain myself with.

Once a friend of mine, Oleg, told a joke and nobody was laughing, but him.  Being young and not always considerate, I asked him quite bluntly, why do you laugh alone?  Is it not a sign of stupidity?  He simply said, “so what, if nobody laughs, why should I refrain myself?”  Not only have I remembered this story for so long, but now I can see his point.  If nobody entertains me, I can do it myself.  And I had become an expert in it by now.

So, was it my perseverance that defined (limited) my success?

But what is success?  Especially mine?