Only afterward, when the sobering influence of maturity returns, does Capricorn feel a vague sense of remorse and melancholy for having succumbed to the temptation of forbidden passions.

The Capricorn Love Mystery

Now the chilling blasts of winter grow more insistent, forcing the experience-weary soul to symbolically retreat back into the haven of the family circle, to submit once again to the meditative, negative-feminine Night Forces.  On the Capricorn level of consciousness, for the fourth and final time, the soul feels the powerful vibrations of Cardinal leadership.  But this time it leads through the stable Earth Element, from a position of strength inside the home, beside the hearth.  Why should the Goat expose himself (or herself) to the icy temperatures outside, just to be seen and heard – applauded and praised?

Capricorn souls, now sure of both their ability and their right to take command, no longer feel the need to display or aggressively flaunt their power – either for public adulation, or for inner security.  By this stage, the soul has learned that true peace comes from within.  Being appointed Leader is a responsibility to be handled as carefully as possible, with no special recognition due for doing what is obviously one’ duty.  The Capricon’s relatives (especially parents) now assume marked importance for either good or ill, because the symbolic “old age” of the soul has arrived – and along with it, a sense of  the priorities of life, the most important being the security of belonging.  The excitement of romance and the freedoms of youth are not nearly as enticing to the Goat as comfort and contentment with those he can depend on to care for him (or her).

Capricorn is both prepared and willing to impart the hard-earned Saturnine wisdom, but only when invited to do so.  Because the Goats know the folly of forcing people to mature before their time, they smile with the benevolent indulgence of a fond grandparent (whatever his or her chronological age) upon the playful antics of the still young at heart.  Secretly, the Capricorn soul longs to abandon duty but is by now resigned to the knowledge that sheer idealism is impractical – and spontaneous enthusiasm can never replace experience.  Acutely aware of the dangers of impulsive action, the soul has become more conservative – and the Goat’s refusal to either scatter efforts or to indulge in sentimentality brings on accusations of emotional coldness from those born into the Fire and Air Elements.  Capricorns respect authority because they see the law as necessity for the protection of human rights and safety.  They shyly worship the famous and successful because Capricorn’s ruler, Saturn, teaches them to revere achievement, knowing full well its price.

Although Capricorn may appear to be serious and unyielding to more liberal souls, Life has also taught the Goats its humourous side, and their subtle jokes are tinged with the irony of existence.  Because the new Saturnine duties as counselor to the foolish weigh heavily on their shoulders, they sometimes try to drink the last full measure of Life’s rare pleasures, calmly accepting them without false modesty or undue inhibition.  Only afterward, when the sobering influence of maturity returns, does Capricorn feel a vague sense of remorse and melancholy for having succumbed to the temptation of forbidden passions.  In this soul vibration there is a compulsion to acknowledge the necessity for being practical, as Capricorn admits, “I USE”.  But a gentleness of spirit softens the severity of the surface sternness commanded by Saturn, for the Capricorn consciousness brings with it a sympathy for human mistakes, born from understanding gained through ten stages of Life’s – and Love’s – mysteries.

Capricorn’s positive qualities are determination, stability, wisdom, dependability, sureness and tranquility.  Expressed in their negative form they become selfishness, narrowness, ruthless ambition, rigidity, snobbery, depression and loneliness.

To Capricorn, love is a quiet and undemanding exchange of personal gratification.  The Goats have fully learned the valuable lesson that love is not measured by excessive emotion.  But because they equate it only with the necessities of mutual need and desire, they have not yet experienced the release of its inner longings.

...but the satisfaction of desire only leaves the Scorpio soul still hungry for something beyond...

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/161d695b22f964939afdc47e2b403517/

The Scorpio Love Mystery

As it enters its second experience in the Water element, the now mature soul welcomes the chance for meditation through a return of the negative feminine Night Forces of the Scorpio consciousness.  On a public level, Scorpio is enormously capable of executing the now very familiar duties as a Fixed Organizer.  On a personal level, Scorpio is troubled to discover that he faces for the first time the awesome mystery of his own existence.  Where did he come from? – where is he going? – why is he here?  Scorpio must tear the veil from life, regardless of the cost, to quiet his restless spirit, suddenly released from its former preoccupation with earthly needs alone, as he cries out: “I DESIRE!”

There is much that the Scorpio soul knows… but even more that is sensed and cannot yet be defined.  The Scorpio vibration brings such a burning need to penetrate the unknown that it must be buried beneath deep layers of calm reason, or it would consume the mind and sear the soul.  Lessons well remembered from Libra softness and impartial judgment have made Scorpio wary of expressing opinions to those who would tear them apart.  The strong Scorpion instinct for survival springs from a deep-seated fear that he who is not forearmed will be destroyed.  Each defeat sustained by Scorpio only strengthens the inner conviction that the first loyalty must be to his or her own personal integrity.  For Scorpio sense that if the self is lost, then all is lost.

On the Scorpio level of consciousness, the soul is newly aware of the relationship between birth, death, sex and religious truth.  Scorpio knows that, in some mystical way, these are intertwined.  Therefore, sex becomes something intimately explored with an intensity unknown to those either behind or ahead Of Scorpio’s stage of evolvement.  Although Scorpio trusts love only after is has proven itself deserving of such trust, once dedicated to another, loyalty is unswerving and eternal.  Feeling fiercely the need to protect themselves and those they love from hurt, Scorpio is compelled to demand “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” as insurance that injures will not be repeated.

Through the subtle influence of the ruling planet Pluto, the experience of death comes to the Scorpio soul, as friends and relatives pass away, increasing the need to penetrate even deeper for the knowledge buried in the silent subconscious.  While Scorpio’s spirit soars upward like the eagle, defying gravity, worldly desires and passions intensify, forcing him to question his own worthiness.  Ultra-sensitive, but now able to totally disguise such sensitivity, Scorpio now learns the amazing power of his or her own mind – the silent will – and uses it secretly, lest others learn how to use the same kind of power over him – or her.  The Scorpio consciousness is the period of the soul’s testing.

Scorpio’s positive qualities are loyalty, will power, magnetism, gentleness, insight and amazing self-control.  Expressed in their negative form they become ruthlessness, fanaticism, revenge, sadism, suspicion and self-hatred.

To Scorpio men and women, love is a consuming flame, worth any sacrifice – and they must conquer its challenge.  Sexually uninhibited, yet emotionally fearful and mentally suspicious, they strive desperately to unite love’s physical and spiritual vibrations, with a strange mixture of eroticism and purity.  But the satisfaction of desire only leaves the Scorpio soul still hungry for something beyond.

Aries demands Love, for like the infant, without Love, Aries dies.

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/e432214da761129af784bfc982fc2528/

The Aries Love Mystery

The soul, symbolically newborn in Aries (although not necessarily in its first earthly sojourn), relates to dawn, sunrise, spring and Easter – or the resurrection from its “death” in the previous sign of Pisces.

In this first excursion into the Fire Element – this experience as the first of the three Cardinal signs – the symbolically “newborn” soul projects the positive, masculine vibration of the Day Forces through the explosive vitality of the Aries planetary ruler, Mars.  Like a human infant totally self-absorbed, the Aries soul discovers with delight his or her own toes and fingers – its own physical beingness.  To satisfy all needs, only a loud cry is necessary, heard and answered by elders.  The real infant doubts or fears nothing or no one, simply because it has never experienced denial.  Likewise, the Aries “Infant” soul has a natural trust and a touching faith in the unseen force of goodness which will miraculously grant all its wishes.

On the Earth plane this beneficent force is represented by the parents; in a mystical sense, by our co-Creators.  And so they look tenderly upon the “newborn” Aries soul, as parents look tenderly upon their infant, lovingly protecting it from its own naivete, wisely denying some of the demands made through the excited awareness that the soul is – he has been born, and is here.  The Aries soul senses “I AM” or “I exist”.  And like the symbolic Infant, Aries men and women are oblivious to the possibilities of accident, pain or cruelty on life’s path.  He or she learns of these negative experiences only from those advanced beyond, who have gathered harshness, suspicion and the self-survival instinct from the growing process.

There’s a religious adage that all infants, since they die in a state of purity, immediately become angels.  Of course!  They have not yet met the devil of Temptation.  But if the Aries “Infant” survives, he or she must, like the real infant, time and time again, undergo the sharp disappointment of misplaced trust.  As the victim of unkindness, a lack of sympathy or abandonment, the newborn babe feels shocked, frightened, alone – then yells even louder for attention.  In the same manner (and for the same reasons) does the soul of the hurt and disillusioned Aries man or woman need and “seek acceptance, yet court rejection” – with a violent emotional reaction to neglect.

The positive qualities of Aries are a heart-tugging innocence and wonder, blind faith and raw courage.  Expressed in their negative forms, they can become selfish egotism, thoughtlessness, aggressiveness and impulsive action with no regard for the consequences.

To the Aries, Love is a necessity of life, which is taken for granted; for in its infancy of awareness, Love is synonymous with existence itself.  Therefore, devotion is instinctively expected and joyously accepted, but with little comprehension of how to return it.  Aries demands Love, for like the infant, without Love, Aries dies.  When emotional abandonment (symbolically) can mean death, even, the hint of it can bring on unreasonable panic, and inexplicable terror, calmed only by repeated reassurances.  Aries continually needs to be reminded that “if winter comes”…… the miracle of spring cannot be far behind.

Source: http://www.jettobox.com/

Pontificating

Remembering is another form of suffering.  Remembering that success is a journey, not a destination, what shall I have in mind?  The past, the present, or the future?  Keep your eyes on the goals.  There have not been set yet.  That is the worst part – I don’t know what exactly I want, but I do continue my journey because I am still alive.  Or maybe I am still alive because I do continue my journey and my journey is my success.  I don’t feel successful.  I should imagine being successful.  What do I do in the meantime, yes, between pretending being successful and figuring out what success actually means for me?

I keep reading self-help books.  Most people say that I read all the wrong books, but let them say whatever they want.  This new book that I picked and put a lot of hope into is “Awaken the Giant Within” by Anthony Robbins.  I will be journaling my experiences from now on, because I have a feeling that there are some positive changes in my life.  A lot of setbacks, too, but…   But we shall judge life by the results, or not judge, or maybe judge, but not by results…  Let the journey continue…

“Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.”  (Orison Swett Marden)

 

“A consistent man believes in destiny, a capricious man in chance.”  (Benjamin Disraeli)

 

 

“Man is born to live and not to prepare to live.”  (Boris Pasternak)

 

 

“Man is not the creature of circumstances; circumstances are the creatures of men.”  (Benjamin Disraeli)

 

 

“Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose.”  (Benjamin Disraeli)

 

 

“Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth – that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too.”  (Johann Wolfgang Goethe)

 

 

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor.”  (Henry David Thoreau)

 Source: http://www.phillwebb.net/History/TwentiethCentury/continental/Marxism/Fromm/Fromm2.jpg

Both dreams and myths are important communications from ourselves to ourselves. If we do not understand the language in which they are written, we miss a great deal of what we know and tell ourselves in those hours when we are not busy manipulating the outside world.

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.

Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own self.

Man always dies before he is fully born.

Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.

Man’s biological weakness is the condition of human culture.

Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality.

Most people die before they are fully born. Creativeness means to be born before one dies.

The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not part of a fixed biologically given human nature, but result from the social process which creates man.

The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.

There is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself.

Trying to stick to the theme – LOVE.  I fell in love but again not with a person, but with an illusion.  I will see how February turns out.  I made a resolution – to disappear from his horizon starting February 1^st.  Keeping resolutions is, of course, much harder than making them.  So, we talked on February 3^rd.  Does not matter.  From now on, I have to disappear…

Why would I want to forget?

I cannot write. About anything.  Yes, that bad.

Forget about love.  Not happening.

Not making love, not falling in love.

Only forgetting.

I will forget, forget, forget…………………………………………………………………

“You will not touch my heart”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0aO5ZVK_C4

You will not touch my heart;

you will not take it and break it.

Just go and never return.

Without you, I will still be alive.

My pain… I cannot describe it. I am having a conversation with my Pain.

Yet, it will go away, too.

My wings, I will give them to passers-by…

There is only one thing left, to replace love with something else…

Point of No Return. Countdown: Ready, set, go!!!

Conversation:

He:       I will return.

Me:      You will forget about my existence in a month or two.

            And, no, you will not return.

He:       No, I will not forget. Maybe you will forget me in a month.

So, the clock is set. Ciao, darling, ciao. Let’s see who is more forgetful.  Not that I don’t know.  I wish I could forget so easily.  It is a skill, maybe I should master it?

Another skill to master – insight – trusting intuition.

Why did I fall in love with non-entity?

When it is hopeless, should I still hope?

Maybe I should.  There must be the one who would be able to return my feelings.  That clock has been set when I was born.  Still nobody is in sight… insight.

Tango – When it is hopeless

«Знать и чувствовать, что злое «никогда» – не просто слово, а моя судьба, что учит без надежды жить любя…»

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyooF_UTJAk&feature=related

To know and feel that spiteful “never” is not just a word, but my fate that teaches me to continue living with love and without hope…

Love Quotes inspired by my Love (Infatuation) for “Mein Lieber A.”

Just to give you some hints why some quotes seem to be more relevant than others.

“I am beautiful.”  Charming, yes…

“Why do you want to be infatuated with me?”  It  was not exactly my choice.

“I love Goethe quotes.”  Well, so do I.  It is nice to have something in common.

“Do you need my permission to laugh?”  1. Yes; 2. No; 3. Maybe; 4. Does it really matter? 5. All of the above.

Do I love you because you’re beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
~Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

 

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.  ~Eric Fromm

 

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.  To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.  To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.  ~Kahlil Gibran

 

When love is not madness, it is not love.  ~Pedro Calderon de la Barca

 

Love is a symbol of eternity.  It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.  ~Author Unknown

 

The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.  ~Albert Ellis

 

If I love you, what business is it of yours?  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

No one can understand love who has not experienced infatuation.  And no one can understand infatuation, no matter how many times he has experienced it.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

 

Sometimes it’s a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.  ~David Byrne

 

The excesses of love soon pass, but its insufficiencies torment us forever.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Et si tu n’existais pas
Je crois que je l’aurais trouvé
Le secret de la vie, le pourquoi
Simplement pour te créer
Et pour te regarder

Above all, I like beauty, balance, and harmony.  It may come as existence inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating as the scent of fresh rain mixed with the air of spring or melancholic, enigmatic and refined.

I cannot remember how many times I have been asked what I am looking for.  The only answer I can come with is Pure Happiness.  As simple as that.  I have learned to enjoy small things in life, here and now, a cup of coffee, a walk, a good conversation, a smile from a stranger, a sound of rain, snow falling on my eyelashes.  I am not looking for perfection, which in my opinion does not exist anyways.

Existence inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/7052d8370eacfe4b12ffa31eb111d0b1/

I am looking for a kindred spirit, a man I can fall in love with, totally losing myself and yet having the luxury of remaining myself.  Eyes I can drown in I find totally irresistible.  Anything that has depth to it.  Dark clouds, oceans, mirror effects, reflections, fluidity, illusions, allusions, formlessness.

Foreign languages, literature, films, poetry, images, paradoxes, songs that reflect my mood, dancing, some insanity once in awhile, passion, fall colours, colours Blue and Orange for one reason, colours Dark Maroon and Deep Wine-Red for quite another, courage, absurdity, intensity, character, sense of humour, philosophy, quotes.

Things I don’t like, though.  Over explaining.

I hate  verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.  Especially combined.  Arrogance.  Righteousness.  Pretence.  Superficiality.  Indifference.

Victor Pelevin “The Sacred Book of Werewolf”

‘But it’s my mind, isn’t it? Then what’s the problem?’

‘The problem is that your mind isn’t actually yours.’

‘Then whose is it?’

‘It’s not possible to say that it is anybody’s at all.  Or what it’s like and where it is.  All these concepts arise within it, that is, it precedes everything else without exception.  Do you understand?  Whatever you imagine, consider, believe or know for sure, the mind’s what will do it.’

‘Are you talking about the brain?’

‘No. The brain is one of concepts that exist in the mind.’

‘But the mind arises because there is a brain,’ he said uncertainly.

‘Those villains have really brainwashed you out of your wits,’ I sighed.  ‘People have no idea what mind is.  Instead they study the brain, or the psyche, or Freud’s love letters to Einstein.  And scientists seriously believe that mind is the product of certain chemical and electrical processes in the brain.  That’s the same as thinking that a TV set is the cause of the film showing on it.  Or that a salary is the cause of human existence.’

‘That’s what economists do think.’

‘Right.  Well, let them think it.  Let them generate their electrical impulses, steal tranches of credit, make official protests, measure the amplitude and the velocity, give the blowjob and take the derivative coefficient, and then determine their rating.  Fortunately for this world, we foxes are here in it, as well as all those clowns.  We know the secret….’

Victor Pelevin “The Sacred Book of Werewolf”

People often argue about whether this world really exists, or is something like The Matrix movie.  It’s a very stupid thing to argue about.  All problems of this kind derive from the fact that people don’t understand the words they use.  Before discussing the subject, the first thing people ought to do is get to grips with the meaning of the word ‘exist’.  Then a lot of interesting things would become clear.  But people are rarely capable of correct thinking.

Of course, I don’t mean to say that all people are total idiots.  There are some among them whose intellect is almost the equal of a fox’s.  For instance, the Irish philosopher Berkeley.  He said that to exist means to be perceived and all objects exist only in perception.  You only have to think calmly about the subject for three minutes to realize that any other views on the matter are like the cult of Osiris or belief in the god Mithras.  In my view, this is the only true thought that has visited the Western mind in its long and funny history: all the Humes, Kants and Baudrillards are only embroidering the canvas of this great insight in a fussy satin stitch.

But where does an object exist when we turn away and stop seeing it?  After all, it doesn’t disappear, as children and Amazonian Indians think, does it?  Berkeley says that it exists in the perception of God.  But Cathars and Gnostics believe that it exists in the perception of the diabolical demiurge, and their arguments are no worse than Berkeley’s .  From their point of view, matter is an evil that shackles the spirit.  By the way, reading Stephen Hawking’s horror stories, I often used to think that if the Albigenses had had a radio telescope, they would have declared the Big Bang a cosmic photograph of Satan’s rebellion…  There is a middle way through this morass of idiocy – to believe that part of the world exists in the perception of God, and part in the perception of Devil.

What can I say to this?  From the point of view of us foxes, there never was any Big Bang, just as the Tower of Babel that Breughel painted never existed, even if there is a reproduction of the painting hanging in a room that you dream about.  And God and the Devil are simply reproductions that are dreamed by some people to hang in a room of the tower on the picture hanging on the wall in a room they dream about.  Berkeley assumed that perception has to have a subject, and so the coins that rolled under the cupboard and the socks that fell behind the bed were solemnly interred in the cranium of the Creator specially created for that purpose.  But how do we deal with the fact that Berkeley’s God, in whose perception we exist, Himself exists mostly in the abstract thinking of certain representatives of the endangered European race?  And he doesn’t exist at all in the consciousness of a Chinese peasant or a little bird which is unaware that it is God’s?  How do we deal with this if ‘to exist’ really does mean ‘to be perceived’?

We don’t, say the foxes.  Foxes have a fundamental answer to the fundamental question of philosophy, which is to forget this fundamental question.  There are no philosophical problems, there is only a suite of interconnected linguistic cul de sacs created by language’s inability to reflect the truth.

But it is better to run into one of these cul de sacs in the first paragraph, rather than after forty years of searching and five thousand pages of writing.  After Berkeley finally got the point the only thing he wrote about was the wonder-working properties of the tincture of bitumen that he’d come across in North America.  And as a result, ever since then he has been mocked by various philistines, who aren’t aware that in that distant time bitumen was produced in America from a plant called Jimson Weed, or Datura.

Religious hypocrites accuse us were-creatures of addling people’s brains and distorting the Image of God.  The people who say this have a rather poor idea of the Image of God, since they mould it after their own sanctimonious mugs.  In any case, talk of ‘distortion’ and; addling; is too judgemental; language like that shifts the question on to the emotional plane and prevents any understanding of the real nature of the matter, which is as follows (please pay close attention to the following paragraph – I have finally reached the most important point).

Since the existence of things consists in their perceptibility, any transformation can occur by two routes – either through the perception of transformation or the transformation of perception.

In honour of the great Irishman, I would like to call this rule Berkeley’s Law.  It is absolutely essential knowledge for all seekers of truth, gangsters and extortionists, marketing specialists and paedophiles who wish to remain at liberty.