Magic has power to experience and fathom things which are inaccessible to human reason. For magic is a great secret wisdom, just as reason is a great public folly. PARACELSUS

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. BERTRAND RUSSELL

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. CARL SAGAN

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. JULES DE GAULTIER

The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other people!  A weird life it is, indeed, to be always in somebody else’s imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at last become real! THOMAS MERTON

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were.  But without it we go nowhere. CARL SAGAN

To live is the rarest thing in the world.  Most people exist, that is all. OSCAR WILDE

Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere. ALBERT EINSTEIN

The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it. MARCUS AURELIUS

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. BERTRAND RUSSELL

...but the satisfaction of desire only leaves the Scorpio soul still hungry for something beyond...

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/161d695b22f964939afdc47e2b403517/

The Scorpio Love Mystery

As it enters its second experience in the Water element, the now mature soul welcomes the chance for meditation through a return of the negative feminine Night Forces of the Scorpio consciousness.  On a public level, Scorpio is enormously capable of executing the now very familiar duties as a Fixed Organizer.  On a personal level, Scorpio is troubled to discover that he faces for the first time the awesome mystery of his own existence.  Where did he come from? – where is he going? – why is he here?  Scorpio must tear the veil from life, regardless of the cost, to quiet his restless spirit, suddenly released from its former preoccupation with earthly needs alone, as he cries out: “I DESIRE!”

There is much that the Scorpio soul knows… but even more that is sensed and cannot yet be defined.  The Scorpio vibration brings such a burning need to penetrate the unknown that it must be buried beneath deep layers of calm reason, or it would consume the mind and sear the soul.  Lessons well remembered from Libra softness and impartial judgment have made Scorpio wary of expressing opinions to those who would tear them apart.  The strong Scorpion instinct for survival springs from a deep-seated fear that he who is not forearmed will be destroyed.  Each defeat sustained by Scorpio only strengthens the inner conviction that the first loyalty must be to his or her own personal integrity.  For Scorpio sense that if the self is lost, then all is lost.

On the Scorpio level of consciousness, the soul is newly aware of the relationship between birth, death, sex and religious truth.  Scorpio knows that, in some mystical way, these are intertwined.  Therefore, sex becomes something intimately explored with an intensity unknown to those either behind or ahead Of Scorpio’s stage of evolvement.  Although Scorpio trusts love only after is has proven itself deserving of such trust, once dedicated to another, loyalty is unswerving and eternal.  Feeling fiercely the need to protect themselves and those they love from hurt, Scorpio is compelled to demand “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” as insurance that injures will not be repeated.

Through the subtle influence of the ruling planet Pluto, the experience of death comes to the Scorpio soul, as friends and relatives pass away, increasing the need to penetrate even deeper for the knowledge buried in the silent subconscious.  While Scorpio’s spirit soars upward like the eagle, defying gravity, worldly desires and passions intensify, forcing him to question his own worthiness.  Ultra-sensitive, but now able to totally disguise such sensitivity, Scorpio now learns the amazing power of his or her own mind – the silent will – and uses it secretly, lest others learn how to use the same kind of power over him – or her.  The Scorpio consciousness is the period of the soul’s testing.

Scorpio’s positive qualities are loyalty, will power, magnetism, gentleness, insight and amazing self-control.  Expressed in their negative form they become ruthlessness, fanaticism, revenge, sadism, suspicion and self-hatred.

To Scorpio men and women, love is a consuming flame, worth any sacrifice – and they must conquer its challenge.  Sexually uninhibited, yet emotionally fearful and mentally suspicious, they strive desperately to unite love’s physical and spiritual vibrations, with a strange mixture of eroticism and purity.  But the satisfaction of desire only leaves the Scorpio soul still hungry for something beyond.

the actual adolescents’ changing moods puzzle them as much as they puzzle their families

The Cancer Love Mystery

The child is now an Adolescent, the soul having evolved to the stage of Cancer, hovering between childhood and maturity, longing to be grown-up, yet hesitating to cross over to the other side.  Cancer brings back awareness of the negative feminine and reflective Night Forces.  But this second experience of night is blended with a new, richer and even more sensual feeling (which was only a poetic inspiration, not yet a true reality, on the earlier Taurean level), for a change of seasons has occurred.   The spring awakening has deepened into a mid-summer night’s dream in all its full-blown and fragrant beauty for these Cancerian Oberon and Titania men and women.

Now the moody, sensitive, “Adolescent” soul vacillates between childish dependence and the maddeningly enticing, beckoning world of adulthood (what is like to be a man or a woman?).  This is beautifully expressed by the experiments between the human and faerie worlds in Taurean Shakespeare’s famed classic.  Is it sad or happy…funny or tragic?  The symbolic “Puckish” Cancerian Adolescent observes the adults (humans) in the environment, uncannily perceptive of everything seen and heard.  But this grown-up, material world so intensely watched hints of frequent disillusion.

And so the dreams of Cancer are troubled, causing the Crab to cry out in the night, sometimes dragging the old symbolic Taurus Teddy Bear out of the closet, and hugging it closely when no one can see.  As with Cancerian men and women, the actual adolescents’ changing moods puzzle them as much as they puzzle their families.  But those terrors are very real to Cancerians, who fear that maturity will mean the loss of security known with the parents, especially the mother.  Will future strangers ever fuss over the Crabs and love them as unconditionally as mother?  Cancer is beginning to suspect that they won’t.

Unable to explain their apprehensions, the Crabs turn secretive, dreaming alone – or hide and pout, imagining that no one understands.  On the Cancer level, the possible loss of parental protection haunts the subconscious.  Cancer has already learned what loss is.  Perhaps childhood friends have moved away, the family has changed residences, the old familiar neighbourhood is gone.  The world is no longer so exciting as the Crabs sense its hidden pitfalls.  The “Adolescent” Cancerian men and women know that growing up will surely bring unexpected hurt, so they cling to what they know can be trusted – yesterday.

Because the new perceptions are so acute, Cancer sees a combination of tragedy and comedy in Life as it expands in his awareness through his first excursion into the sensitive Water Element.  Still, despite an innate shyness, the Cancerian soul will not be pushed into the background, for this is the second experience as a Cardinal leader, which can turn illogical fear into sensible caution.  The Crabs wish on both the Full Moon and the New, only half-conscious of what it is they wish for……reluctant t find out.  What does tomorrow hold?  Sentiment moves the Cancerian Adolescent soul to tears.  Motivated by the need to hide true emotions, the Crabs say: “I FEEL” – then, so no one will suspect they feel so deeply, they make jokes, believing they fool people.  If not handled tenderly at this crucial stage of soul evolvement, the Cancerian man or woman develops a permanent, hard, protective shell against the cruel world.

Cancer’s positive qualities are imagination, tenacity, tenderness, sensitivity, care and caution.  Expressed in their negative form they become stinginess, irritability, melancholy, clinging and cowardice, possessiveness and moodiness.

To Cancer, as to the actual uncertain and sentimental adolescent, love has become important again, above all else.  But it is now synonymous with home, representing emotional security – and the need for love is so great it must be disguised behind moody tears and Lunar laughter.

Crowned by gentle Venus with the Victory of Love

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/3da7de66b318903a55ff08ca28b7debf/

from Linda Goodman’s “Love Signs”, page 31

The Planets

we’ve fought a long and bitter war

my Twin Soul and I

lost and lonely, fallen angels, exiled

from a misty, half-forgotten galaxy of stars

wounded cruelly by the painful thrust of Mars

caught in Neptune’s tangled web

shocked and torn asunder

by the sudden, awful violence of Uranus

tortured by the clever lies of Mercury

crashed beneath the icy weight of stern, unyielding Saturn

who lengthened every hour into a day

each day into a year

each year into eternities of waiting

scorched, and nearly blinded

by the Sun’s exploding bursts of arrogance and pride

as Eve and Adam, stilled and helpless, deep within us, cried…

still we fought on in unrelenting fury

striking blow for blow…driven by the pounding drums

of Jupiter’s giant, throbbing passions.

stumbling at the precipice of the Moon’s enticing madness

to fall, at last, in trembling fear

before the threat of Pluto’s ominous, tomb-like silence

consumed by inconsolable sadness, and the bleakness

of despair

we bear…

the wounds and scars of furious battle

I and my Twin Soul

but now we walk in quiet peace

with all our scattered pieces whole

together, hand-in-hand…full serpent circle

back into the Pyramid-shaped rainbow

of tomorrow’s brighter Eden

crowned by gentle Venus with the Victory of Love

that did not die

but has survived the night of selfish seeking

to wait for morning’s soft forgiveness

and the dawn of understanding

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/f436e6d4c09674e2e2a65fd429b1cf90/

Come here, rude boy, boy,

can you get it up?

Strangely enough, after I have watched the video clip for “Alejandro” and laughed and completely discounted it as rubbish, my flow of consciousness was inundated by thoughts about sex, erotica, sexuality and sensuality.  Not that there were no other factors that drove me in this particular direction.

The seeds were planted long ago, so to speak.  And all of a sudden I started paying attention to other clips and words in songs.  In the clip for the song “She bangs”, there is some banging, and lyrics are somewhat provocative (maybe it is not the best description), but it is how I am approaching the subject now.  Even if it is lame, let it be for now.  Then I listened to Rihanna’s “Rude Boy”.  I liked how she talks business:

Come here, rude boy, boy,

Can you get it up?

Come here, rude boy, boy

Is you big enough?

Never mind the grammar – “is you big enough?”

Rihanna “Rude Boy” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e82VE8UtW8A

Rihanna \”Rude Boy\”

That is how it should be.  “Can you get it up? Or what the hell are we talking about?”  Probably there should be no talking.  Words are nothing, action is everything.  Testing is everything (spoken from experience).  Testing is Everything.  It does not matter how imperfect my marriage was or the sexual aspect of it; at least my husband had no problem with the equipment or performance.  Which I found out only after it had fallen apart.  I don’t regret it, but I feel that in that sense I hit the jackpot the first time; I just did not know it.  Getting it up seems to be more problematic for men than I expected.  Sometimes you need a magnifying glass to find the equipment.  I speak like an engineer, LOL.  Equipment, measurements, length & width, performance…  That is not everything, of course.  There is technique. There is passion; at least there should be passion.  Good luck finding it….  There are plenty of other factors, too.  Otherwise, my marriage could have been much better.  My ex would have not blamed me that I ruined his sex life.  But I think the sentiment goes both ways.  The subject is complicated enough.  But my life was what it was and it is what it is; therefore there is no other choice but to continue my journey of discovery unabated.  Full steam ahead.

The reason I am breaking this barrier (not doing the deed, I did it two years ago), but talking about it in a public space is that the other day, my favourite character told me that “I am such a lamb”.  How I resented the comment!  I am not a lamb!  Maybe there is some truth to it; otherwise I would not be so much irritated.  Well, if there are barriers to be broken, maybe it is about time.

I broke the barrier two years ago.  It was more an act of courage and rebellion, than sex.  And what was the first thing that I encounter?  My second partner could not get it up.  Neither could the third.  And I thought “What the hell?”  I am not going to continue with numbers, performance evaluations & statistics.  It’s all private.  But the question remains “Can you get it up?” Testing, testing 1-2-3.

What is more important to me, can I get past my shyness, inexperience, prejudice, moral barriers?  Can I move on?  Can I get it up?  Can I free myself?  Overcoming fear is intoxicating.  What a stupid question!  Of course, I can!

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.  ~Ambrose Redmoon

 

 

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.  ~Winston Churchill

 

 

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.  ~Mark Twain

 

 

People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fibre called courage.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

 

 

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.  ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters to Lucilius

 Source: http://dwhamby1.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/courage.jpg

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.  Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave.  ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar, 1894

 

 

Cowardice, as distinguished from panic, is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend the functioning of the imagination.  ~Ernest Hemingway, Men at War, 1942

 

 

The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.  ~John F. Kennedy

 

 

There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.  ~John Wainwright

 

 

To him that waits all things reveal themselves, provided that he has the courage not to deny, in the darkness, what he has seen in the light.  ~Coventry Patmore

page 147, that is supposed to be about me

“Fear,

my old nemesis,

you appear again to manipulate,

immobilize,

and pervade my eggshell armour.

Come ahead if you will,

And let us do battle.

I am ready.”

Oh, God, am I?

As far as the author has been able to observe in the course of his life, most people, even the most educated, have neither any awareness nor any understanding of the fact that they exist in history.  The majority think that everything will always be the way it is today.  And if a historical event happens to have taken place before their very eyes, they see the reason for its occurrence in a temporal coincidence of misunderstandings.  And it seems to them that everything can be put back the way it was.  Some of them hope for this and others fear it.  Aglaya hoped and Shubkin feared, but neither of them understood that history does not make any reverse moves.  For better or for worse, a process was under way, and the further it proceeded, the more illusory Aglaya’ hopes appeared and the more pointless Shubkin’s fears became.  Of course, things did not actually go so far that Aglaya was punished for ruining the peasantry and Shubkin was glorified for the injuries he had suffered, but by and large there was a definite movement in a certain direction, …

1. Avoid casting blame on an external force for your bad feelings about life.  Nothing outside yourself can control your thinking or your actions.

2. Avoid blaming yourself for not being in control.  You are doing the best you can, you are on the way to reclaiming your power.

3. Be aware of when and where you play the victim role. Learn the clues that tell you that you are not being responsible for what you are being, having, doing, or feeling.

4. Familiarize yourself with your biggest enemy – your Chatterbox.  Use the exercises throughout this book to replace it with a loving internal friend.

5. Figure out the payoffs that keep you “stuck”.  Paradoxically, once you find them, you will probably be able to quickly become “unstuck”.

6. Determine what you want in life and act on it.  Stop waiting for someone to give it to you.  You’ll be waiting for a long time.

7. Be aware of the many choices you have – in both actions and feelings – in any situation that comes your way.  Choose the path that contributes to your growth and makes you feel at peace with yourself and others.

from the book “Feel the fear … and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers, Ph. D.

For some reason, you are consciously or unconsciously  choosing to be in that lousy job, you are choosing to hate the single life, you are choosing to stay in a destructive relationship, you are choosing  to let your daughter drive you crazy, you are choosing to sabotage anything good in your life…  or whatever else it may be for you.  I know it is difficult to accept the fact that you are the cause of the feelings that take away your joy in life.  It is very upsetting when you begin to see yourself as your own worst enemy.  On the other hand, this realization is your biggest blessing.  If you know you can create your own misery, it stands to reason to create your own joy.

1.  Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling.

2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.

3. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.

4. Taking responsibility means handling the Chatterbox (the inner voice).

5. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you “stuck”.

6. Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it.

7. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices yo have in any given situation.