In my Humble Opinion

A journal to vent about why people are like that and why all the stupid things they do are so obvious to me, from not using their turn signals to believing they’re center of the universe to sweating small stuff to ignoring the fact that we’re all just trying to make our way in this insanely crowded world but some of us are doing it a whole lot better than others.

Other people are so annoying

If it weren’t for all those idiots, your life would be perfect.  After all, you’re a good driver, a sensible friend, a nuanced coworker, a caring mate, and, most of all, you know how to stand in a line without cutting.  Given the antics of the thronging rabble, however, “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention,” as the bumper sticker says.  We’d probably all be better off if we weren’t paying attention – to the tailgating jerk behind us, to the woman screeching into her cell phone, to the waiter who thinks he’s God’s gift.  Two centuries before bumper stickers enriched our lives, the eighteenth-century poet Thomas Gray said “Ignorance is bliss,” and no doubt it’s still true.

For better or worse, you don’t have the gift of oblivion.  You notice every little irritating tic and injustice and spend your hours wondering why people are like that.  And who could blame you?  Plain and simple, there’s a lot to vent about these days.  Our concerns range from the significant (war, environmental destruction, the continued popularity of reality television) to smaller, everyday annoyances (stupid pop songs, telemarketers, and overpriced coffee) to the philosophical (do humans even matter in the cosmos?)  You’re paying attention, and the result is misanthropy ranging from the vague to the acute.

One justification for your aggravation level is the overcrowding of our contemporary world.  We’re living in congested cities, competing for resources, clogging highways, and generally rubbing up against one another.  Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. famously stated, “The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.”  The same could apply to loud music, cigarette smoke, and honking.  The damaging effects of proximity have been proven: in renowned studies on the deliberate overcrowding of rats, high levels of aggression and compromised health were the inevitable result.

Annoyance isn’t terribly good for you either.  Research shows that those who score high on a hostility scale are substantially more likely to die earlier than those at low or average levels, primarily from heart disease.  Physiologically, the effects of anger include the release of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline, increased heart rate and blood pressure, and the movement of sugar into the bloodstream.  It also, however, appears to be something we crave – as much as sex, food, and drugs.  According to a Vanderbilt University study, aggression engages the brain’s reward pathways and involves dopamine.

We do seem to be delighted to compare our irritations with others – witness the blogging movement.  In an article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, Laura Lee author of The Pocket Encyclopedia of Aggravation, notes, “People like hearing that other people are bugged by the same things” because “we’re not stoning anyone or being killed by leeches, so we have the leisure to concentrate on petty annoyances.”  In his book The Emotional Revolution, Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal states, “Bad traffic, slow waiters, an insensitive boss, an incompetent employee, or an inattentive spouse are all common provocations.”

But do you have to be angry to write down your humble opinions?  Certainly not.  “Humble opinion” is, of course, an understatement – whenever anybody uses that phrase, the presumption is that opinion is correct and better than everyone else’s.  Even when it’s expressed as an acronym online (IMHO), it’s false mitigation of what you know to be right – your view.  And what better place to express that than a journal, where nobody can contradict you?

Whether you scribble your two cents’ worth or vent your rage on any given day, journaling is a healthy outlet for your thoughts.  You won’t anger anybody else, and, should you be irritated, you might just work through your own anger.  Experts now believe that anger is generally best when it’s suppressed (not expressed) but that it can be damaging when it’s repressed (not known or acknowledged).  In his book Anger: How to Recognize and Cope with It, Dr. Leo Madow notes, “If anger is considered as ‘energy’, it cannot be destroyed (forgotten) but must be converted.”

Fortunately, the benefits of journal writing have been examined, to surprisingly consistent results.  According to a widely cited study by James W. Pennebaker and Janel D. Seagal, “Writing about important personal experiences is an emotional way for as little as fifteen minutes over the course of three days brings about improvements in mental and physical health.”  Proven physical effects include stress management, strengthened immune systems, fewer doctor visits, and improvement in chronic illnesses such as asthma (clearly it’s better to vent in your journal than to hyperventilate).  “It’s hard to believe,” says Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, but “being able to put experiences into words is good for your physical health.”  Kathleen Adams, founder of the Center for Journal Therapy, calls journals “79-cent therapists.”

It’s not entirely clear how journaling accomplishes all this.  The consensus among experts is that catharsis is involved, but they also point to the organization of experience into a narrative.  According to Newsweek, some scholars believe that journaling “forces us to transform the ruminations cluttering our minds into coherent stories.  Writing about an experience may also dull its emotional impact.”  Psychologist Ira Progoff, widely considered to be the father of the modern journaling movement, stated in 1975 that an “intensive journal process” could “draw each person’s life toward wholeness at its own tempo.”

As a devotee of this journal, you obviously have opinions, be they humble or (more likely) really smart.  You’ve chosen not to blog (at least in this case) but rather to learn from your own conclusions and pet peeves.  To best utilize the journaling process, however, don’t blindly vent, as that may exacerbate your frustration with the teeming masses.  Instead, get your feelings out, then try to understand them.  A few additional tips to consider: experts agree that in order to reap the benefits of journaling, you have to stick with it, quasi-daily, for as little as five minutes at a time (at least fifteen minutes, however, is best).  Finding regular writing times and comfortable locations can help with consistency.  Prompt your writing with questions; in the case of this journal, elaborate on “Why people are like that today” and “Definitive conclusion about humanity.”  The In My Humble Opinion journal’s quotations will also provide a jumping-off point for your writing.  Renowned journaler Anais Nin suggests asking yourself, “What feels vivid, warm, or near to you at the moment?”  Don’t critique your writing as you journal; journaling is a process of self-reflection, not a constructed composition.  In other words, spew.  Finally, determine a home for your journal where others won’t find it.

Thomas Jefferson declared, “When angry, count ten, before you speak.  If very angry, an hundred.”  Mark Twain leavened Jefferson’s advice: “When angry, count four.  When very angry, swear.” We say, “When you are angry, irritated, or you just have a humble opinion to express, journal.”

taken from Knock Knock “In my humble opinion” journal – which is made specifically to journal irritating or any other experiences.  I wanted to buy it as a present, but I could not resist the temptation to keep it.  I have plenty of  journals, structured, non-structured, more personal, less personal, online ramblings, participation in discussions, but this one just appealed to me.  Let’s see, how much benefit I can reap from this one.

...Pisces...begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW...

The Pisces Love Mystery

Just as the soul is symbolically “born” into the innocent thoughtlessness of Aries, it symbolically “dies” – or leaves the painful Earth plane – to enter into the sympathetic humility and mystical awareness of Pisces.  In the Piscean Sun Sign stage, evolving man and woman begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW – able to (in varying degrees) see the Past, Present and Future as one.  This is the soul’s third and final excursion into the sensitive Water Element – its fourth and final vibration as a Mutable Communicator – and the last experience under the feminine negative Night Forces.

Ideally, by the time the soul has reached the Pisces stage, it has attained spiritual enlightenment on its long journey through the Mysteries of Love experienced in the preceding eleven Sun Signs.  If not, then it must return to certain Sun Sign vibratory experiences on the astrological circle to learn lessons not absorbed because they were too hastily skimmed over in previous incarnated stages.  But each such return brings a new vulnerability to that Sun Sign lesson – a new inner urgency to master its positive essence and discard its negative.  Of course, some high or advanced souls, after reaching the Piscean stage, elect of their own choosing to return to Earth to rescue those still in darkness.  However, we are discussing here the average Pisces obligation and pattern.

Man and woman, on the Pisces level, have passed at least once through all twelve stages of initiation, and many have been required to fall back and retrace their steps hundreds of times in this experience, because Pisces is the most difficult of all the twelve Sun Signs to comprehend and master.  Usually such an accomplishment is not gained the first time around the wheel of life, except by intense desire and will, which is not to say such achievement is impossible – but it is a path, up until now, chosen by very few.  This is why astrology teaches that Pisces is “an old soul” – also the reason that on every Pisces man or woman is the epitome of spiritual grace; why some swim in waters dangerously close to the fires of Dante’s Inferno.  The Fish lives in two worlds, simultaneously experiencing both Heaven and Hell.

With the secret wisdom of the Piscean ruling planet, Neptune, Pisceans know that sadness and ugliness are not a part of God’s plan.  They have glimpsed the beauty of truth, and the brilliance of such mystical vision brings an urge to retreat from the negative vibrations of the Earth plane.  So Pisces often avoids confrontation and tension through the escape route of drugs, alcohol, daydreams, artistic creation, philosophical theorizing, meditation or religious retreat.  Pisceans may become teachers, monks, mystics, artists, musicians, composers, abstract mathematicians and highly intuitive scientists – or they may choose to swim down into the murky waters of alcoholism and drug addiction, even insanity.  It is, indeed, a difficult and complicated vibration for the soul, for this Sun Sign experience is fraught with temptation for the Pisces man or woman.

Because they’ve been “through it all” on a subconscious level, the Fishes have a natural compassion for the troubles of those around them.  The Neptunian soul is intimately familiar with life’s vicissitudes, understanding the weakness of human nature, therefore tending to pity, rather than to condemn, man’s and woman’s failings.  This is why these “old souls” so frequently become the recipients of everyone’s secrets, trials, worries and apprehensions.  Yet the initial instinct is to turn away form sticky entanglements in all forms.  Only when the Fish finds the courage to face his or her own problems with as much spiritual wisdom as is offered to others can the Neptune mysteries be fathomed.

Through this “death initiation” (death of the human ego) the soul grows more forgiving, more gentle, better able to understand its true relationship to the co-Creators…as Pisces affirms “I BELIEVE.”  To realize the full glory and truth of love, the Fish can, if he or she chooses, call on the innocence of Aries, the patience of Taurus, the awareness of Gemini, the perception of Cancer, the nobility of Leo, the discrimination of Virgo, the judgment of Libra, the penetration of Scorpio, the honesty of Sagittarius, the wisdom of Capricorn – and the humanitarianism of Aquarius.  But sometimes these many fragments of secret knowledge and talents serve only to confuse Pisces, causing the Fish to then take the easier path of passive nonresistance.

The Pisces positive qualities are humility, compassion, sensitivity, spiritual awareness, psychic comprehension, philosophic insight and a healing potential.  Expressed in their negative form they become timidity, apprehension, masochism, idleness, lying and weakness of will.

To Pisces, love is unselfish submission of the ego to the desires of the one needed to become Whole.  The Fish gains more pleasure from giving than from receiving, more happiness in serving than in being served.  Yet enigmatic Neptune tests the Pisces soul with the lure of multiple sexual and romantic experience – floating from one affair to another.

In such promiscuous manner – or by becoming a romantic recluse – does the wary Fish escape the dangers of being “hooked” by deep permanent emotional commitment.  But the Pisces man or woman who resists this temptation to avoid love’s pain by seeking only love’s pleasure…..is richly rewarded by the mastery of love’s final mystery.  He or she can then glimpse for the first time on the soul’s weary journey the true passion of blending in a trinity of mind, heart and spirit, resulting in a rare physical ecstasy – the ultimate Piscean fulfillment of Love’s long-ago Aries springtime promise of a miracle.

"Let tears do the talking..."

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/fb2e876fda6aaeb94118ba1c8eb27571/

The harderst part is giving up hope

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/e8d492a79df23d28a0bb2e35a1565e6b/

There must be a way to forget! I am still wondering why I cannot forget someone who cares so little for me, if he does at all. But that is precisely the reason – its his detachment, him being unattainable that drives me insane. And I feel that I am doing this to myself… It does not matter how much it hurts… No, it does… Are we addicted to this sweet pain?

I have never heard of “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga until my friend suggested it.

“Listen to “Alejandro Gaga” – absolutely idiotic song, but perfect (!!!) salsa bit.”

I did look it up and watched the official video.

I was partially teasing my friend because I was not at all offended, but knowing him I was positive that he would be petrified if he knew what the video looked like.  Maybe I was wrong.  Assumptions, assumptions.

That is what I wrote in response:

“You gotta be kidding  me.  You made me watch this?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niqrrmev4mA&ob=av2e

Did you watch it yourself?  I suggest you do in its entirety and we share our opinions afterward.  I really don’t care for the bit.  This is insane.  Even though, I have to confess I was laughing partially because I was drunk.”

And drunk I was.  I was laughing long afterward.

But then communicating with another friend I told him that “Our communication resembles as much sanity as it is in this song” meaning “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga.

I doubt if he listened or watched.

Because what he said was

“thanks for the note…personal side bar can not stand Lady Gaga…but nice you tried to find some music to suit your mood”.

But that is exactly what our communication is.  All muddled up.  I never said a word that it suited my mood.  But boy, did it make me laugh!!!

Sie verbirgt wahre Liebe

This is my version of “Alejandro”.  There is nothing Mexican about the song or the boys in the video.  Given their uniform I would rather say it was inspired by Germans.  And one of the boys in the video closer to the end looked quite German or Russian, it does not really matter.  But that is the reason why I translated (sort of, my apologies to the German speaking people, I used auto translator.  If anybody wants to correct it, you are welcome, but it is mostly done for comic relief, not to offend anyone).

Or you are welcome to write your own lyrics to this video in any language.

So, here we go:

Discourse

When I talk about definitions, I think it is important.  For me, at least.

A discourse – a conversation, talk. (apart from other meanings).

Origin: Latin dis – in different directions + currere – run.

An example?  Oh, my goodness!  I often listen to the songs on the www.youtube.com.  And how many times I had encountered absolutely insane conversations!  Most of the time I just don’t even pay attention to what is there.  But once I was asked whether I am aware of the discussions under the clips.  Then I sort of started paying attention.

I picked a clip teaching beginners’ steps for Salsa.  And a discourse jewel on top.  Here it is – a priceless example of meanness and creativity.  And one of the participants had a good point, when he mentioned the importance of definitions.

************************************************************************

Participant 1:

Following your line of thinking, Spanish is actually a retarded deformation of Latin and Arabic.

Notwithstanding the fact that you are unaware of the definition of the words:

1) retarded

2) language

3) dialect

the fact remains that you are neither intelligent, nor insightful, nor useful as a human being. I hereby order you, in the name of the survival of the species, to cease existing immediately.

************************************************************************

I was just wondering what drives those conversations.  Some people would say anger.  But I am beginning to think that it is pure loneliness.  Maybe both.

Quotes on Discourse:

1. “All discourses but my own afflict me; they seem harsh, impertinent, and irksome”

(Ben Jonson)

 

2. “Of our thinking it is but the upper surface that we shape into articulate thought; underneath the region of argument and conscious discourse lies the region of meditation.”

(Thomas Carlyle)

 

3. “It’s our tendency to approach every problem as if it were a fight between two sides. We see it in headlines that are always using metaphors for war. It’s a general atmosphere of animosity and contention that has taken over our public discourse.”

(Deborah Tannen)

4. “The only privilege literature deserves – and this privilege it requires in order to exist – is the privilege of being in the arena of discourse, the place where the struggle of our languages can be acted out.”

(Salman Rushdie)

 

5. “Discourse may want an animated “No”

 

To brush the surface, and to make it flow;

 

But still remember, if you mean to please,

 

To press your point with modesty and ease.”

(William Cowper)

 

6. “The failures of the press have contributed immensely to the emergence of a talk-show nation, in which public discourse is reduced to ranting and raving and posturing.”

(Carl Bernstein)

I love Pelevin’s style.  “Dialectics of transitional period from nowhere to nowhere”.

Coming back to my own insanity.  I just realized that today is the day 42.

4^th February, 2010 – 42 for those who remember that 42 is my number.  We’ll see if the number has any significance.  It is always “either…or”  Either it has significance or not.  I am not obsessed with it, but now it tends to jump out.  I guess my eye is trained now to pick 42 out of the crowd.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.” (Albert Einstein)

 

 

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” (Albert Einstein)

 

“For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is psychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity.” (Jean Dubuffet)

 

 

“In order to act, you must be somewhat insane. A reasonably sensible man is satisfied with thinking.”  (Georges Clemenceau)

 

 

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you.”  (Rita Mae Brown)

 

 

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”  (Friedrich Nietzsche)

 

“In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.”  (Friedrich Nietzsche)

 

 

“We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”  (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

 

 

“Some might think that the creativity, imagination, and flights of fancy that give my life meaning are insanity.”  (Vladimir Nabokov)

 

 

“Sweet, crazy conversations full of half sentences, daydreams and misunderstandings more thrilling than understanding could ever be.”  (Toni Morrison “Beloved”)

 

Et si tu n’existais pas
Je crois que je l’aurais trouvé
Le secret de la vie, le pourquoi
Simplement pour te créer
Et pour te regarder

Above all, I like beauty, balance, and harmony.  It may come as existence inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating as the scent of fresh rain mixed with the air of spring or melancholic, enigmatic and refined.

I cannot remember how many times I have been asked what I am looking for.  The only answer I can come with is Pure Happiness.  As simple as that.  I have learned to enjoy small things in life, here and now, a cup of coffee, a walk, a good conversation, a smile from a stranger, a sound of rain, snow falling on my eyelashes.  I am not looking for perfection, which in my opinion does not exist anyways.

Existence inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/7052d8370eacfe4b12ffa31eb111d0b1/

I am looking for a kindred spirit, a man I can fall in love with, totally losing myself and yet having the luxury of remaining myself.  Eyes I can drown in I find totally irresistible.  Anything that has depth to it.  Dark clouds, oceans, mirror effects, reflections, fluidity, illusions, allusions, formlessness.

Foreign languages, literature, films, poetry, images, paradoxes, songs that reflect my mood, dancing, some insanity once in awhile, passion, fall colours, colours Blue and Orange for one reason, colours Dark Maroon and Deep Wine-Red for quite another, courage, absurdity, intensity, character, sense of humour, philosophy, quotes.

Things I don’t like, though.  Over explaining.

I hate  verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.  Especially combined.  Arrogance.  Righteousness.  Pretence.  Superficiality.  Indifference.

On Nov. 15, 1934, Virginia Woolf began her rewrite of a novel eventually titled “The Years.”  “Lord! Lord!” she noted in her diary, “10 pages a day for 90 days: three months … now, damnably disagreeable, as I see it will be – compacting the vast mass – I am using my faculties again.  & all the flies and fleas are forgotten.”

Seven years later the flies and fleas and larger plagues drove Woolf, who had fought mental illness throughout her life, to suicide.  An increasing number of psychiatrists, neurologists and geneticists, says an article in this week’s Science Times, believe there’s a link between the genius and madness of artists such as her.  Maybe so.  But as anyone who’s ever read Woolf’s letters and diaries can attest, it’s the link between imagination and self-discipline that got her a place in literature’s pantheon.  Her mind may have had a grasshopper’s fleetness, but her industry was the ant’s.  “People who have experienced emotional extremes, who have been forced to confront a huge range of feelings and who have successfully coped with those adversities, could end up with a richer organization in memory, a richer palette t work with,” said Dr. Ruth Richards, a psychiatrist in Belmont, Mass., which often served as a haven for Robert Lowell, the fine American poet.

At least three fine English poets – Byron, Shelley and Coleridge – also suffered from manic depression or severe depression; and so did the composer Robert Schumann, who starved himself to death when he was 46.  Dr. Robert M. Post, chief of the biological psychiatry branch at the National Institutes of Health, sees the link between bipolar disorder and creativity as “fortunate”, because it is in so many other ways “a devastating illness.”

To be mad is not necessarily to be creative, or there’d be Shelly on every street corner.  And to be creative is not necessarily to be mad, or Shakespeare would not have been a monument to shrewdness and adaptability.  But to be creative is almost invariably to be diligent – and, manic – depressive or no, to swing high, swing low.

Source: Editorial published in the New York Times, October 15, 1993.