In my Humble Opinion

A journal to vent about why people are like that and why all the stupid things they do are so obvious to me, from not using their turn signals to believing they’re center of the universe to sweating small stuff to ignoring the fact that we’re all just trying to make our way in this insanely crowded world but some of us are doing it a whole lot better than others.

Other people are so annoying

If it weren’t for all those idiots, your life would be perfect.  After all, you’re a good driver, a sensible friend, a nuanced coworker, a caring mate, and, most of all, you know how to stand in a line without cutting.  Given the antics of the thronging rabble, however, “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention,” as the bumper sticker says.  We’d probably all be better off if we weren’t paying attention – to the tailgating jerk behind us, to the woman screeching into her cell phone, to the waiter who thinks he’s God’s gift.  Two centuries before bumper stickers enriched our lives, the eighteenth-century poet Thomas Gray said “Ignorance is bliss,” and no doubt it’s still true.

For better or worse, you don’t have the gift of oblivion.  You notice every little irritating tic and injustice and spend your hours wondering why people are like that.  And who could blame you?  Plain and simple, there’s a lot to vent about these days.  Our concerns range from the significant (war, environmental destruction, the continued popularity of reality television) to smaller, everyday annoyances (stupid pop songs, telemarketers, and overpriced coffee) to the philosophical (do humans even matter in the cosmos?)  You’re paying attention, and the result is misanthropy ranging from the vague to the acute.

One justification for your aggravation level is the overcrowding of our contemporary world.  We’re living in congested cities, competing for resources, clogging highways, and generally rubbing up against one another.  Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. famously stated, “The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.”  The same could apply to loud music, cigarette smoke, and honking.  The damaging effects of proximity have been proven: in renowned studies on the deliberate overcrowding of rats, high levels of aggression and compromised health were the inevitable result.

Annoyance isn’t terribly good for you either.  Research shows that those who score high on a hostility scale are substantially more likely to die earlier than those at low or average levels, primarily from heart disease.  Physiologically, the effects of anger include the release of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline, increased heart rate and blood pressure, and the movement of sugar into the bloodstream.  It also, however, appears to be something we crave – as much as sex, food, and drugs.  According to a Vanderbilt University study, aggression engages the brain’s reward pathways and involves dopamine.

We do seem to be delighted to compare our irritations with others – witness the blogging movement.  In an article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, Laura Lee author of The Pocket Encyclopedia of Aggravation, notes, “People like hearing that other people are bugged by the same things” because “we’re not stoning anyone or being killed by leeches, so we have the leisure to concentrate on petty annoyances.”  In his book The Emotional Revolution, Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal states, “Bad traffic, slow waiters, an insensitive boss, an incompetent employee, or an inattentive spouse are all common provocations.”

But do you have to be angry to write down your humble opinions?  Certainly not.  “Humble opinion” is, of course, an understatement – whenever anybody uses that phrase, the presumption is that opinion is correct and better than everyone else’s.  Even when it’s expressed as an acronym online (IMHO), it’s false mitigation of what you know to be right – your view.  And what better place to express that than a journal, where nobody can contradict you?

Whether you scribble your two cents’ worth or vent your rage on any given day, journaling is a healthy outlet for your thoughts.  You won’t anger anybody else, and, should you be irritated, you might just work through your own anger.  Experts now believe that anger is generally best when it’s suppressed (not expressed) but that it can be damaging when it’s repressed (not known or acknowledged).  In his book Anger: How to Recognize and Cope with It, Dr. Leo Madow notes, “If anger is considered as ‘energy’, it cannot be destroyed (forgotten) but must be converted.”

Fortunately, the benefits of journal writing have been examined, to surprisingly consistent results.  According to a widely cited study by James W. Pennebaker and Janel D. Seagal, “Writing about important personal experiences is an emotional way for as little as fifteen minutes over the course of three days brings about improvements in mental and physical health.”  Proven physical effects include stress management, strengthened immune systems, fewer doctor visits, and improvement in chronic illnesses such as asthma (clearly it’s better to vent in your journal than to hyperventilate).  “It’s hard to believe,” says Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, but “being able to put experiences into words is good for your physical health.”  Kathleen Adams, founder of the Center for Journal Therapy, calls journals “79-cent therapists.”

It’s not entirely clear how journaling accomplishes all this.  The consensus among experts is that catharsis is involved, but they also point to the organization of experience into a narrative.  According to Newsweek, some scholars believe that journaling “forces us to transform the ruminations cluttering our minds into coherent stories.  Writing about an experience may also dull its emotional impact.”  Psychologist Ira Progoff, widely considered to be the father of the modern journaling movement, stated in 1975 that an “intensive journal process” could “draw each person’s life toward wholeness at its own tempo.”

As a devotee of this journal, you obviously have opinions, be they humble or (more likely) really smart.  You’ve chosen not to blog (at least in this case) but rather to learn from your own conclusions and pet peeves.  To best utilize the journaling process, however, don’t blindly vent, as that may exacerbate your frustration with the teeming masses.  Instead, get your feelings out, then try to understand them.  A few additional tips to consider: experts agree that in order to reap the benefits of journaling, you have to stick with it, quasi-daily, for as little as five minutes at a time (at least fifteen minutes, however, is best).  Finding regular writing times and comfortable locations can help with consistency.  Prompt your writing with questions; in the case of this journal, elaborate on “Why people are like that today” and “Definitive conclusion about humanity.”  The In My Humble Opinion journal’s quotations will also provide a jumping-off point for your writing.  Renowned journaler Anais Nin suggests asking yourself, “What feels vivid, warm, or near to you at the moment?”  Don’t critique your writing as you journal; journaling is a process of self-reflection, not a constructed composition.  In other words, spew.  Finally, determine a home for your journal where others won’t find it.

Thomas Jefferson declared, “When angry, count ten, before you speak.  If very angry, an hundred.”  Mark Twain leavened Jefferson’s advice: “When angry, count four.  When very angry, swear.” We say, “When you are angry, irritated, or you just have a humble opinion to express, journal.”

taken from Knock Knock “In my humble opinion” journal – which is made specifically to journal irritating or any other experiences.  I wanted to buy it as a present, but I could not resist the temptation to keep it.  I have plenty of  journals, structured, non-structured, more personal, less personal, online ramblings, participation in discussions, but this one just appealed to me.  Let’s see, how much benefit I can reap from this one.

Black Horoscope

Sagittarius

Don’t think that your good reputation will prevent us from making a complete list of your numerous flaws! Firstly, you claim to be a philosopher endowed with open-mindedness. Actually, it is only a way to escape everyday realities that you find boring. It is more accurate to say that you have no inner life. Your interest in culture and spirituality is nothing but an interest, as we have mentioned already! Indeed, you have no reflection of your own. You stupidly repeat what you have read or heard, and you proudly think that you can appear to be a wise person who has an immense knowledge of the world. In addition, you never go very deep, and while you boastfully display your knowledge, you show no critical or analytical mind. You are a real drought and you are restless, which translates into irritating fickleness, lack of stability, and no sense of commitment or loyalty… Lastly, you are unable to fulfil your promises. You exaggerate everything in order to impress your entourage (yes, you are proud, definitely), and you don’t have a clue what the word “tact” means. Many among you are just big petty-bourgeois…

Source: http://www.astrotheme.com/files/black-zodiac.php

...Pisces...begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW...

The Pisces Love Mystery

Just as the soul is symbolically “born” into the innocent thoughtlessness of Aries, it symbolically “dies” – or leaves the painful Earth plane – to enter into the sympathetic humility and mystical awareness of Pisces.  In the Piscean Sun Sign stage, evolving man and woman begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW – able to (in varying degrees) see the Past, Present and Future as one.  This is the soul’s third and final excursion into the sensitive Water Element – its fourth and final vibration as a Mutable Communicator – and the last experience under the feminine negative Night Forces.

Ideally, by the time the soul has reached the Pisces stage, it has attained spiritual enlightenment on its long journey through the Mysteries of Love experienced in the preceding eleven Sun Signs.  If not, then it must return to certain Sun Sign vibratory experiences on the astrological circle to learn lessons not absorbed because they were too hastily skimmed over in previous incarnated stages.  But each such return brings a new vulnerability to that Sun Sign lesson – a new inner urgency to master its positive essence and discard its negative.  Of course, some high or advanced souls, after reaching the Piscean stage, elect of their own choosing to return to Earth to rescue those still in darkness.  However, we are discussing here the average Pisces obligation and pattern.

Man and woman, on the Pisces level, have passed at least once through all twelve stages of initiation, and many have been required to fall back and retrace their steps hundreds of times in this experience, because Pisces is the most difficult of all the twelve Sun Signs to comprehend and master.  Usually such an accomplishment is not gained the first time around the wheel of life, except by intense desire and will, which is not to say such achievement is impossible – but it is a path, up until now, chosen by very few.  This is why astrology teaches that Pisces is “an old soul” – also the reason that on every Pisces man or woman is the epitome of spiritual grace; why some swim in waters dangerously close to the fires of Dante’s Inferno.  The Fish lives in two worlds, simultaneously experiencing both Heaven and Hell.

With the secret wisdom of the Piscean ruling planet, Neptune, Pisceans know that sadness and ugliness are not a part of God’s plan.  They have glimpsed the beauty of truth, and the brilliance of such mystical vision brings an urge to retreat from the negative vibrations of the Earth plane.  So Pisces often avoids confrontation and tension through the escape route of drugs, alcohol, daydreams, artistic creation, philosophical theorizing, meditation or religious retreat.  Pisceans may become teachers, monks, mystics, artists, musicians, composers, abstract mathematicians and highly intuitive scientists – or they may choose to swim down into the murky waters of alcoholism and drug addiction, even insanity.  It is, indeed, a difficult and complicated vibration for the soul, for this Sun Sign experience is fraught with temptation for the Pisces man or woman.

Because they’ve been “through it all” on a subconscious level, the Fishes have a natural compassion for the troubles of those around them.  The Neptunian soul is intimately familiar with life’s vicissitudes, understanding the weakness of human nature, therefore tending to pity, rather than to condemn, man’s and woman’s failings.  This is why these “old souls” so frequently become the recipients of everyone’s secrets, trials, worries and apprehensions.  Yet the initial instinct is to turn away form sticky entanglements in all forms.  Only when the Fish finds the courage to face his or her own problems with as much spiritual wisdom as is offered to others can the Neptune mysteries be fathomed.

Through this “death initiation” (death of the human ego) the soul grows more forgiving, more gentle, better able to understand its true relationship to the co-Creators…as Pisces affirms “I BELIEVE.”  To realize the full glory and truth of love, the Fish can, if he or she chooses, call on the innocence of Aries, the patience of Taurus, the awareness of Gemini, the perception of Cancer, the nobility of Leo, the discrimination of Virgo, the judgment of Libra, the penetration of Scorpio, the honesty of Sagittarius, the wisdom of Capricorn – and the humanitarianism of Aquarius.  But sometimes these many fragments of secret knowledge and talents serve only to confuse Pisces, causing the Fish to then take the easier path of passive nonresistance.

The Pisces positive qualities are humility, compassion, sensitivity, spiritual awareness, psychic comprehension, philosophic insight and a healing potential.  Expressed in their negative form they become timidity, apprehension, masochism, idleness, lying and weakness of will.

To Pisces, love is unselfish submission of the ego to the desires of the one needed to become Whole.  The Fish gains more pleasure from giving than from receiving, more happiness in serving than in being served.  Yet enigmatic Neptune tests the Pisces soul with the lure of multiple sexual and romantic experience – floating from one affair to another.

In such promiscuous manner – or by becoming a romantic recluse – does the wary Fish escape the dangers of being “hooked” by deep permanent emotional commitment.  But the Pisces man or woman who resists this temptation to avoid love’s pain by seeking only love’s pleasure…..is richly rewarded by the mastery of love’s final mystery.  He or she can then glimpse for the first time on the soul’s weary journey the true passion of blending in a trinity of mind, heart and spirit, resulting in a rare physical ecstasy – the ultimate Piscean fulfillment of Love’s long-ago Aries springtime promise of a miracle.

...because their anxious quest has not yet led them to search for love where it really hides – within their own hearts...

The Sagittarius Love Mystery

Emerging from the long night of Scorpio meditation, the evolving soul turns again with hope toward the positive masculine Day Forces, as it bridges autumn and winter through the Sagittarius consciousness.  Now it experiences for the third time the vibrations of the Mutable Communicator, and answers for the last time to the impulsive element of Fire.  In Sagittarius, man or woman has become a skeptical philosopher, a reluctant prophet, still unsure of the final answers to the riddle of life.  So the Archer probes further, with penetrating logic and embarrassing candor, to give validity to Jupiter’s claim that “I SEE”.

It is now time for the soul to be once more aware of its own duality.  Sagittarius feels a compelling urge to explore his or her own mind and attempt to unravel the secrets of human behaviour at the philosophic stage of higher learning.  Yet, part of this soul resents the stern requirements of ever more complicated education and longs to play hookey from Life’s demanding karmic school.  He – or she – plunges from the heights of supreme optimism and blind faith to the depths of sarcastic cynicism.  First frivolous and gay, then serious and owlish, Sagittarius is the Centaur, half-man – half-horse, aiming sharp arrow of curiosity directly into the bull’s eye of the knowledge sought.  The Sagittarian search for truth takes this soul through the maze of religious concept, veering from stark atheism to spiritual fanaticism, until the stronghold of church dogma has been exposed – and either accepted or rejected, in part, or in whole.

Sometimes Sagittarius frolics like a clumsy clown, with an irresponsible disregard for the future.  Sometimes he thinks seriously, on a level high above and beyond his peers.  In the Sagittarian stage, the soul has reached the symbolic stage of retirement.  Driven by their ruling planet Jupiter, the Archers yearn to travel, to bask under foreign Suns, to see and learn of other countries, people and ideas.  Although they grudgingly submit to the necessities of work, duty and responsibility, they are extremely impatient of such unwelcome restriction over the realization of their dreams.

To cover a constant restlessness of spirit, Sagittarians adopt the pose of the actor, the thespian, which enables them to entertain others with a mixture of funny and tragic farces, while they remain free to pursue the Socratic method of inquiry with their own souls, behind their theatrical masks.  There is little time for tact on this level, as Sagittarius rushes ahead to find the answers before “Life” is over.  Autumn is ending, the first winds of winter are blowing – and exhilarating weather challenges the Archer to tempt fate, in order to prove that man is stronger than Nature.  The winter season’s withdrawal into seclusion has not yet taken hold.  And so Sagittarius delights in each snowflake, pondering the design and origin…then rolls them together into a snowball, tossed without warning to topple the stuffiness of more sedate souls.  Although intuitively sensing that “old age” looms ahead, with its promised rewards of wisdom and peace, the soul is too nostalgic for the carefree das of lost youth…spring and summer…to resign itself gracefully to its inevitable maturity.

Sagittarian positive qualities are optimism, candor, cheerfulness, logic, honesty, daring and enthusiasm.  Expressed in their negative form they become recklessness, emotional confusion, lack of tact, rudeness and fickleness.

To Sagittarius, who has reached the symbolic middle age of the soul, true love must be discovered now – or lost forever.  As the Archers seek a mate for all seasons, they are blinded by love’s idealism and challenge and therefore wounded by love’s reality, because their anxious quest has not yet led them to search for love where it really hides – within their own hearts.

Succeed (ME < L succedere <sub -  up (to) + cedere go)

1. turn out well; prosper : His plans succeeded. Any able person who works well can succeed..
2. accomplish what is attempted or intended: The attack succeeded beyond all expectations.  After much discussion, Jill succeeded in convincing her father that she needed her own car.

Of course, in a philosophical sense of the word, it is much harder to define what success really is.  Or failure for that matter.

Source: http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r320/nizz6pics/success.jpg

Quotes on Success:

“Success is not access to excess.” Anonymous

 

 

“The two hardest things to handle in life are failure & success.” Anonymous

 

 

“Yielding is sometimes the best way of succeeding.” Anonymous

 

 

“You cannot sit on the road to success, for if you do, you will get run over.” Anonymous

 

 

“A successful man continues to look for work after he has found a job.” Anonymous

 

 

“Health, happiness and success depend upon the fighting spirit of each person. The big thing is not what happens to us in life – but what we do about what happens to us.” George Allen

 

 

“Act as though it is impossible to fail.” Anonymous

 

 

“Choice, not circumstances, determines your success.” Anonymous

 

 

“Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running.” Zig Ziglar

 

 

”If you care at all, you’ll get some results.  If you care enough, you’ll get incredible results.” Jim Rohn

 

 

“Every one of us, unconsciously, works out a personal philosophy of life, by which we are guided, inspired, and corrected, as time goes on. It is this philosophy by which we measure out our days, and by which we advertise to all about us the man, or woman, that we are. . . . It takes but a brief time to scent the life philosophy of anyone. It is defined in the conversation, in the look of the eye, and in the general mien of the person. It has no hiding place. It’s like the perfume of the flower — unseen, but known almost instantly. It is the possession of the successful, and the happy. And it can be greatly embellished by the absorption of ideas and experiences of the useful of this earth.” George Matthew Adams

 

 

“Success comes before work only in the dictionary.” Anonymous

 

 

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”  Dr. Joyce Brothers

 

 

“Men are failures, not because they are stupid, but because they are not sufficiently impassioned.”  Struther Burt

 

 

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” Winston Churchill

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

It is a Saturday, a sunny and cold day in Toronto.  In 1993, February 6^th was a Saturday, it was sunny in the morning and cold, the roads were slippery (talk about signs!!!), but then it warmed up enough for a real snow storm in the night.

So, today is my wedding anniversary with my first husband to whom I am no longer married.  I am not divorced from him either.  The divorce is still in the process…

I often wonder when the break up really happened and who broke what… and honestly I don’t know.  The saddest part is that I still care.  The best part is… well, the best part remains to be discovered.

Another chapter in my journey.  As much as I am unable to do anything these days or write anything, I could not miss this day.  I should make a post.  And, surprisingly enough it turns out to be the post # 342 (here it comes again, my number 42).  Madness?  Eccentricity? 

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Remarriage is the triumph of hope over experience…”

 

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman.

 

 

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

 

 

“I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can’t be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn’t happened. But weddings always make me cry.” – Brendan Behan (1923-64) Irish playwright.

 

 

“Three rings of marriage: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”

 

 

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – George Burns.

 

 

“Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), British philosopher, Marriage and Morals.

 

 

“Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.” – Jim Backus.

 

 

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates.

 

 

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.” –Cher

Виктор Пелевин «Т», page 212

На сырой стене каждые несколько метров повторялось одно и то же странное граффити – три строчки, написанные друг под другом разной краской и почерком, словно через трехцветный трафарет:

Бог умер. Ницще.

Ницше умер. Бог.

Оба вы педарасы.  Vassya Pupkin.

Надпись про Бога была белой, про Ницше – синей, а сентенция Васи Пупкина – красной.  Пробегая взглядом по этим строкам, Т. представлял себе сначала Иегову с Сикстинской фрески Микеланджело, затем усталого Ницше, похожего на облагороженного страданием Максима Горького, и, наконец, белобрысого Васю – надменного наследника мудрости веков, пугающего и одновременно прекрасного в своем равнодушном максимализме.

Et si tu n’existais pas
Je crois que je l’aurais trouvé
Le secret de la vie, le pourquoi
Simplement pour te créer
Et pour te regarder

Above all, I like beauty, balance, and harmony.  It may come as existence inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating as the scent of fresh rain mixed with the air of spring or melancholic, enigmatic and refined.

I cannot remember how many times I have been asked what I am looking for.  The only answer I can come with is Pure Happiness.  As simple as that.  I have learned to enjoy small things in life, here and now, a cup of coffee, a walk, a good conversation, a smile from a stranger, a sound of rain, snow falling on my eyelashes.  I am not looking for perfection, which in my opinion does not exist anyways.

Existence inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/7052d8370eacfe4b12ffa31eb111d0b1/

I am looking for a kindred spirit, a man I can fall in love with, totally losing myself and yet having the luxury of remaining myself.  Eyes I can drown in I find totally irresistible.  Anything that has depth to it.  Dark clouds, oceans, mirror effects, reflections, fluidity, illusions, allusions, formlessness.

Foreign languages, literature, films, poetry, images, paradoxes, songs that reflect my mood, dancing, some insanity once in awhile, passion, fall colours, colours Blue and Orange for one reason, colours Dark Maroon and Deep Wine-Red for quite another, courage, absurdity, intensity, character, sense of humour, philosophy, quotes.

Things I don’t like, though.  Over explaining.

I hate  verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.  Especially combined.  Arrogance.  Righteousness.  Pretence.  Superficiality.  Indifference.