Magic has power to experience and fathom things which are inaccessible to human reason. For magic is a great secret wisdom, just as reason is a great public folly. PARACELSUS

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. BERTRAND RUSSELL

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. CARL SAGAN

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. JULES DE GAULTIER

The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other people!  A weird life it is, indeed, to be always in somebody else’s imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at last become real! THOMAS MERTON

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were.  But without it we go nowhere. CARL SAGAN

To live is the rarest thing in the world.  Most people exist, that is all. OSCAR WILDE

Logic will get you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere. ALBERT EINSTEIN

The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it. MARCUS AURELIUS

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. BERTRAND RUSSELL

...Pisces...begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW...

The Pisces Love Mystery

Just as the soul is symbolically “born” into the innocent thoughtlessness of Aries, it symbolically “dies” – or leaves the painful Earth plane – to enter into the sympathetic humility and mystical awareness of Pisces.  In the Piscean Sun Sign stage, evolving man and woman begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW – able to (in varying degrees) see the Past, Present and Future as one.  This is the soul’s third and final excursion into the sensitive Water Element – its fourth and final vibration as a Mutable Communicator – and the last experience under the feminine negative Night Forces.

Ideally, by the time the soul has reached the Pisces stage, it has attained spiritual enlightenment on its long journey through the Mysteries of Love experienced in the preceding eleven Sun Signs.  If not, then it must return to certain Sun Sign vibratory experiences on the astrological circle to learn lessons not absorbed because they were too hastily skimmed over in previous incarnated stages.  But each such return brings a new vulnerability to that Sun Sign lesson – a new inner urgency to master its positive essence and discard its negative.  Of course, some high or advanced souls, after reaching the Piscean stage, elect of their own choosing to return to Earth to rescue those still in darkness.  However, we are discussing here the average Pisces obligation and pattern.

Man and woman, on the Pisces level, have passed at least once through all twelve stages of initiation, and many have been required to fall back and retrace their steps hundreds of times in this experience, because Pisces is the most difficult of all the twelve Sun Signs to comprehend and master.  Usually such an accomplishment is not gained the first time around the wheel of life, except by intense desire and will, which is not to say such achievement is impossible – but it is a path, up until now, chosen by very few.  This is why astrology teaches that Pisces is “an old soul” – also the reason that on every Pisces man or woman is the epitome of spiritual grace; why some swim in waters dangerously close to the fires of Dante’s Inferno.  The Fish lives in two worlds, simultaneously experiencing both Heaven and Hell.

With the secret wisdom of the Piscean ruling planet, Neptune, Pisceans know that sadness and ugliness are not a part of God’s plan.  They have glimpsed the beauty of truth, and the brilliance of such mystical vision brings an urge to retreat from the negative vibrations of the Earth plane.  So Pisces often avoids confrontation and tension through the escape route of drugs, alcohol, daydreams, artistic creation, philosophical theorizing, meditation or religious retreat.  Pisceans may become teachers, monks, mystics, artists, musicians, composers, abstract mathematicians and highly intuitive scientists – or they may choose to swim down into the murky waters of alcoholism and drug addiction, even insanity.  It is, indeed, a difficult and complicated vibration for the soul, for this Sun Sign experience is fraught with temptation for the Pisces man or woman.

Because they’ve been “through it all” on a subconscious level, the Fishes have a natural compassion for the troubles of those around them.  The Neptunian soul is intimately familiar with life’s vicissitudes, understanding the weakness of human nature, therefore tending to pity, rather than to condemn, man’s and woman’s failings.  This is why these “old souls” so frequently become the recipients of everyone’s secrets, trials, worries and apprehensions.  Yet the initial instinct is to turn away form sticky entanglements in all forms.  Only when the Fish finds the courage to face his or her own problems with as much spiritual wisdom as is offered to others can the Neptune mysteries be fathomed.

Through this “death initiation” (death of the human ego) the soul grows more forgiving, more gentle, better able to understand its true relationship to the co-Creators…as Pisces affirms “I BELIEVE.”  To realize the full glory and truth of love, the Fish can, if he or she chooses, call on the innocence of Aries, the patience of Taurus, the awareness of Gemini, the perception of Cancer, the nobility of Leo, the discrimination of Virgo, the judgment of Libra, the penetration of Scorpio, the honesty of Sagittarius, the wisdom of Capricorn – and the humanitarianism of Aquarius.  But sometimes these many fragments of secret knowledge and talents serve only to confuse Pisces, causing the Fish to then take the easier path of passive nonresistance.

The Pisces positive qualities are humility, compassion, sensitivity, spiritual awareness, psychic comprehension, philosophic insight and a healing potential.  Expressed in their negative form they become timidity, apprehension, masochism, idleness, lying and weakness of will.

To Pisces, love is unselfish submission of the ego to the desires of the one needed to become Whole.  The Fish gains more pleasure from giving than from receiving, more happiness in serving than in being served.  Yet enigmatic Neptune tests the Pisces soul with the lure of multiple sexual and romantic experience – floating from one affair to another.

In such promiscuous manner – or by becoming a romantic recluse – does the wary Fish escape the dangers of being “hooked” by deep permanent emotional commitment.  But the Pisces man or woman who resists this temptation to avoid love’s pain by seeking only love’s pleasure…..is richly rewarded by the mastery of love’s final mystery.  He or she can then glimpse for the first time on the soul’s weary journey the true passion of blending in a trinity of mind, heart and spirit, resulting in a rare physical ecstasy – the ultimate Piscean fulfillment of Love’s long-ago Aries springtime promise of a miracle.

... and so begins a "second childhood" on the level of the Water Bearer...

The Aquarius Love Mystery

Having reached the Aquarian initiation, the evolving soul feels that it must return to life much of what it gathered along the way.  And so begins a “second childhood” on the level of the Water Bearer, who pours out his knowledge, both determined and anxious to share it before he leaves this planet to explore the exciting realm of the unknown on the other side.

Aquarius feels the stirrings of the masculine positive Day Forces for the last time as a Fixed Organizer, in the final experience of the detached and unpredictable Air Element.  A puzzle to friends and family, the Aquarian man or woman cavorts in peculiar fashion with the young at heart – peculiar, since wisdom and experience are in direct contrast with such liberal, eccentric behaviour.  There were so many mysteries missed in the past

because there wasn’t time to investigate them.  Now Aquarians must taste them all – must investigate every nuance of up and down, left and right, will and won’t.  They delight in shocking those around them, suddenly aware of an inexplicable ability to peek into the future.  Amazingly intuitive and bristling with unexpected flashes of telepathic images, The Aquarian soul examines people and ideas without sentiment, arriving at truth with no apparent logic or traceable effort.

On this level, the soul tends to flaunt law and authority because the spirit actually exists in the world of the future.  Aquarius knows that the rigid rules of todays’s society must sooner or later be compromised.  Therefore he (or she) sees no sensible reason to respect what will surely evolve into something new and different tomorrow.  If violent revolt is necessary to bring about tolerance, brotherhood and understanding, then Aquarius believes the result will be worth the conflict.  However, although they advocate change for the world (and for their friends and family), the Water Bearers remain Fixed in their own personal opinions, private codes and life-styles, reflecting the contradictory nature of the ruling planet, Uranus.

The soul has now acquired a true humanitarian approach.  To the unprejudiced Aquarian, every human being is a friend, whatever that person’s personal values may be, for the Water Bearer has learned that he (or she) is one with all mankind and womankind – and with Nature.  Yet, personal relationships may be neglected, as these men and women pursue an idealism related to the benefit of society in general.  Like the Aquarian Age it reflects, the soul at this stage envisions a golden and glorious future that may be attained only by blasting old customs and outdated ideas to clear the way for spiritual awareness, through the thunderbolt path of accelerated mass Karma.  If more conservative people are offended by the Uranus behaviour, the Aquarian individualist laughs off their disapproval.  Secure in an intuitive grasp of the future, Aquarians retort, “I KNOW” to all questions, then perversely refuse to explain how they know – except to the children, who understand through their own innocence the innocent state of simplicity the soul returns to in the “second childhood” Uranus vibration.

The Aquarian positive qualities are vision, individuality, tolerance, friendliness, inventiveness, originality and genius.  Expressed in their negative form they become eccentricity, neurosis, detachment, absentmindedness and refusal to cooperate.

To Aquarius, love is a detached and unselfish emotion, to be explored and enjoyed.  The Water Bearer understands love’s scope and investigates all its dimensions, but scatters it carelessly, confusing it with friendship.  Physical fulfillment leaves Aquarius emotionally empty and still wistful, failing to sense the mystery of Oneness with the mate – the final truth of love, which awaits discovery silently, in the shadows – the secret guarded by Neptune, just beyond Uranus comprehension.

Seduction is Art and should be taken seriously

Source:  http://www.hectorcasanova.net/art/pain.jpg

Excruciating pain, yet I haven’t reached that emotional threshold…

It is my umpteenth attempt to get to grips with my life.  I do procrastinate.  I do associate more pain with looking for a job than abstaining from it.  Well, starting tomorrow… Right!

“Morgen, morgen, nur nicht heute, sagen alle faulen Leute.”

The Force That Shapes Your Life

Anthony Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within”, Chapter 3, page 52

“Men live by intervals of reason under the sovereignty of humour and passion.” (Sir Thomas Browne)

What creates a hero, a heel, a criminal, a contributor?  What determines the difference in human actions?  Throughout my life, I have passionately sought the answer to these questions.  One thing is clear to me: human beings are not random creatures; everything we do, we do for a reason.  We may not be aware of the reason consciously, but there is undoubtedly a single driving force behind all human behaviour.  This force impacts every facet of our lives, from our relationships and finances to our bodies and brains.  What is this force that is controlling you even now and will continue to do so for the rest of your life?  PAIN and PLEASURE!  Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.

So often I hear people talk about changes they want to make in their lives.  But they can’t get themselves to follow through.  They feel frustrated, overwhelmed, and even angry with themselves because they know they need to take action, but they can’t get themselves to do it.  There is one elementary reason: they keep trying to change their behaviour, which is the effect, instead of dealing with the cause behind it.

Understanding and utilizing the forces of pain and pleasure will allow you once and for all to create the lasting changes and improvements you desire for yourself and those you care about.  Failure to understand this force dooms you to a future of living in reaction, like an animal or a machine.  Perhaps this sounds like a complete oversimplification, but think about it.  Why don’t you do some of the things you know you should do?

Source: http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2007/10/08/demotivators-depressing-anti-motivational-posters/

After all, what is procrastination?  It’s when you know you should do something, but you still don’t do it.  Why not?  The answer is simple: at some level you believe that taking action in this moment would be more painful than just putting it off.  Yet, have you ever had the experience of putting something off for so long that suddenly you felt pressure to just do it, to get it done?  What happened?  You changed what you liked pain and pleasure to.  Suddenly, not taking action became more painful than putting it off.

[that is, of course, just a story of my life]

“A man who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than necessary.” (Seneca)

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you.  If you do that, you’re in control of your life.  If you don’t, life controls you.”  (Anthony Robbins)

[I love when the author quotes himself!  Well, I am being sarcastic]

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” (Marcus Aurelius)

“Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings.”  (Lord Chesterfield)

Though we’d like to deny it, the fact remains that what drives our behaviour is instinctive reaction to pain and pleasure, not intellectual calculation.  Intellectually, we may believe that eating chocolate is bad for us, but we’ll still reach for it.  Why?  Because we’re not driven so much by what we intellectually know, but rather by what we’ve learned to link pain and pleasure to in our nervous systems.  It’s our neuro-associations – the associations we’ve established in our nervous systems – that determine what we’ll do.  Although we’d like to believe it’s our intellect that really drives us, in most cases our emotions – the sensations that we link to our thoughts – are what truly drive us.

Many times we try to override the system.  For a while we stick to a diet; we’ve finally pushed ourselves over the edge because we have so much pain.  We will have solved the problem for the moment – but if we haven’t eliminated the cause of the problem, it will resurface.  Ultimately, in order for a change to last, we must link pain to our old behaviour and pleasure to our new behaviour, and condition it until it’s consistent.  Remember, we will all do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure.

“I conceive that pleasures are to be avoided if greater pains be the consequence, and pains to be coveted that will terminate in greater pleasures.”  (Michel De Montaigne)

 

Source: http://image.healthhaven.com/Pain.htm

Remember, too, that it’s not actual pain that drives us, but our fear that something will lead to pain.  And it’s not actual pleasure that drives us, but our belief – our sense of certainty – that somehow taking a certain action will lead to pleasure.  We’re not driven by reality, but by our perception of reality.

“Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure… they govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it.”  (Jeremy Bentham)

Source: http://www.joyonthejob.info/transformingpainintopower/

Let’s make some changes right now

[I consider it my homework]

First, write down four actions that you need to take that you’ve been putting off.

Second, under each of these actions, write down the answer to the following questions:

-         Why haven’t I taken action?

-         In the past, what pain have I linked to taking this action?

Third, write down all the pleasure you’ve had in the past by indulging in this negative pattern?

Fourth, write down what it will cost you if you don’t change now.  What will happen if you don’t stop eating so much sugar and fat?  If you don’t stop smoking?  If you don’t make that phone call that you know you need to make?  If you don’t start consistently working out each day?  Be honest with yourself.  What’s it going to cost you over the next two, three, four, five years?  What’s it going to cost you emotionally?  What’s it going to cost you in terms of your self-image?  What will it cost you in your physical energy level?  What will it cost you in your feelings of self-esteem?  What will it cost you financially?  What will it cost you in your relationships with the people you care about most?  How does that make you feel?  Don’t just say, “It will cost me money: or “I will be fat.”  That’s not enough.  You’ve got to remember that what drives us is our emotions.  So get associated and use pain as your friend, one that can drive you to a new level success.

The final step is to write down all the pleasure you’ll receive by taking each of these actions right now.

Make a huge list that will drive you emotionally, that will really get you excited:

-         I’ll gain the feeling of really being in control of my life, of knowing that I’m in charge.

-         I’ll gain a new level of self-confidence.

-         I’ll gain physical vitality and health.  I’ll be able to strengthen all my relationships.

-         I’ll develop more willpower, which I can use in every other area of my life.

-         My life will better in all these ways now.

-         Over the next two, three, four, five years.

-         By taking this action, I will live my dream.

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/technowannabe/562918256/

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

It is a Saturday, a sunny and cold day in Toronto.  In 1993, February 6^th was a Saturday, it was sunny in the morning and cold, the roads were slippery (talk about signs!!!), but then it warmed up enough for a real snow storm in the night.

So, today is my wedding anniversary with my first husband to whom I am no longer married.  I am not divorced from him either.  The divorce is still in the process…

I often wonder when the break up really happened and who broke what… and honestly I don’t know.  The saddest part is that I still care.  The best part is… well, the best part remains to be discovered.

Another chapter in my journey.  As much as I am unable to do anything these days or write anything, I could not miss this day.  I should make a post.  And, surprisingly enough it turns out to be the post # 342 (here it comes again, my number 42).  Madness?  Eccentricity? 

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Remarriage is the triumph of hope over experience…”

 

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman.

 

 

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

 

 

“I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can’t be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn’t happened. But weddings always make me cry.” – Brendan Behan (1923-64) Irish playwright.

 

 

“Three rings of marriage: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”

 

 

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – George Burns.

 

 

“Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), British philosopher, Marriage and Morals.

 

 

“Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.” – Jim Backus.

 

 

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates.

 

 

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.” –Cher

Linda Goodman’s “Love Signs”, page 745.

One pastime Scorpio and Aquarius both enjoy (or maybe I should say are unable to resist) when they’re together is probing each other’s secrets.  Both are born detectives, and neither can stand not knowing what makes the other tick.  They’ll take each other apart, like the works of a clock, Scorpio in a subtle, deceptively casual manner, Aquarius in an occasionally rude and always very direct manner.  I’m sure the Aquarians reading this will be protesting that they’re not interested in anyone’s business, and therefore are not snoopy.  True, they aren’t interested for the purpose of passing on gossip or being judgmental, but they are very much interested in checking things out, in accumulating data, so to speak.

These Water Bearers are millions light years away from me... How infuriating!

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/2c86070f1ef290c9c779bd3e48898e4a/

The thing is, although both Scorpio and Aquarius would like to learn everything they can about each other, neither wants her (or his) own mysteries unveiled.  Obviously, it’s a situation fraught with all sorts of possibilities.  Each individual relationship is different, but normally the Scorpion has a slight edge on the Water Bearer when it comes to plumbing the other person’s secrets, while managing to keep one’s own personal eccentricities and private idiosyncrasies under lock and key.  Not always, but most of the time.

Another wee difficulty they’ll have to overcome is that both Scorpio and Aquarius are Fixed Signs.  Fixed is one degree this side of stubborn.  By “this side” I mean on the side of slightly more so.  Like, unmoving.  Difficult to budge from a position.  The problem is, I believe, self-evident.  The solution requires one or both of them to have the Moon or Ascendent in a more flexible sign.  This would help a great deal.  Very little else will.  But the wisdom of the stars will usually ensure that at least one of them is influenced by Mutable planet positions at birth.  (Of course, Fixed also means stable and lasting, so, like everything else, it has its positive side).

One difference between these two is that Scorpio has a long, long memory (only the memory of the Bull is longer, with the Crab running third) – and Aquarius is doing well to recall where her (or his) car is parked.  This absent-mindedness of the Uranus genius does come in handy, however, for forgetting old wounds.  The typical Water Bearer will seldom hold a grudge or go out of the way to get even.  Scorpio would do well to imitate this Aquarian trait.  On the other side of the fence, Scorpio is an expert in the fine art of self-control, not always, but usually keeping his (or her) emotions disciplined, and Aquarius would do well to imitate Scorpio’s Pluto composure and poise, since the average Water Bearer possesses very little self-control and can flash into a streak of anger as unexpectedly as a lightning bolt (although it normally just as quickly passes).

[…]

Still, with all their interwoven and tangled qualities and clashing habits, an association between Scorpio and Aquarius is potentially an interesting experiment and experience for each of them, even for the innocent bystanders and onlookers.  It’s educational…enlightening.  There’s one quality Pluto and Uranus bestow upon both Scorpio and Aquarius – one word that describes the influence of these stars over both their personalities: “unpredictable”.  This same word perfectly sums up all possible scores in any compatibility game between them.  But neither Scorpio nor Aquarius would have it any other way.  The Eagle and the Water Bearer are not the kind to enjoy making a bet on a sure thing.

Victor Pelevin “The Sacred Book of Werewolf”

‘But it’s my mind, isn’t it? Then what’s the problem?’

‘The problem is that your mind isn’t actually yours.’

‘Then whose is it?’

‘It’s not possible to say that it is anybody’s at all.  Or what it’s like and where it is.  All these concepts arise within it, that is, it precedes everything else without exception.  Do you understand?  Whatever you imagine, consider, believe or know for sure, the mind’s what will do it.’

‘Are you talking about the brain?’

‘No. The brain is one of concepts that exist in the mind.’

‘But the mind arises because there is a brain,’ he said uncertainly.

‘Those villains have really brainwashed you out of your wits,’ I sighed.  ‘People have no idea what mind is.  Instead they study the brain, or the psyche, or Freud’s love letters to Einstein.  And scientists seriously believe that mind is the product of certain chemical and electrical processes in the brain.  That’s the same as thinking that a TV set is the cause of the film showing on it.  Or that a salary is the cause of human existence.’

‘That’s what economists do think.’

‘Right.  Well, let them think it.  Let them generate their electrical impulses, steal tranches of credit, make official protests, measure the amplitude and the velocity, give the blowjob and take the derivative coefficient, and then determine their rating.  Fortunately for this world, we foxes are here in it, as well as all those clowns.  We know the secret….’

Et si tu n’existais pas, J’essaierais d’inventer l’amour

I started this post wanting to write about the film “Two Lovers”.  I could never actually get to write a review.  (Well, later I will do it, promise!)  I was thinking too much about how fast I fall in love and how fast I create that infatuation out of which I could not so easily escape.  Infatuation?  Creating feelings out of thin air.  Falling in love with the images of my own and on my own and then projecting them onto a real person.  I guess I am being creative.  Or insane, even ever so slightly.  I was thinking about how it is like projecting a film, its characters and a story onto an empty screen and expecting a feedback from that imaginary life.  That’s me.  Feelings are real, the feedback?  I am afraid, it would take a long time to get one.

Being a somewhat strange person, I do have somewhat strange conversations.  Coming from my dream…

“It is what it is, you feel what you feel, it is neither right nor wrong”, – my friend usually says.  Yes, the one that I like so much for so little reason.  That is the quintessence of our conversations, I think.  Apart from the fact that he is right and I am wrong.  I think way too much about him, only because I created those feelings and then I fell under their influence.  Well, how clever of me!

Well, it takes time to recognize that I am all-alone in that fantasy world.  In love with an image, a reflection, a mirage…

Is it time to forget, to wake up?  I am afraid so. But…deep inside, I don’t really want to.  I love this haze and intoxication.  And then I find a song.  An old one about another person who would have created love and a lover even if the lover did not exist.  To find the secret of life by creating a lover…  I might be slightly insane, but why so many other people like this song?  Maybe there is something to it?  Longing for love?  I guess, it is what it is – neither right nor wrong.

Et si tu n’existais pas

Je crois que je l’aurais trouvé

Le secret de la vie, le pourquoi

Simplement pour te créer

Et pour te regarder

It was always my dream, but never reality

Source: http://ourblog.pofiro.eu/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/rg.jpg

Ladies and Gentlemen.  Some posts are for bilingual people only.  It is Canada after all!

Friends are Forever.

This is a postcard from my best friend at School given to me on October 31, 1987, when I turned 17.

“Дорогая Светочка!

Поздравляю тебя с Днём Рождения!

Желаю тебе хорошо сдавать экзамены, встретить хорошего парня, а когда день 31 октября будут отмечать как всенародный праздник, не забыть про друзей (которые тебя любят).»  31 октября 1987 годаю

Катя

Странно, но факт, день 31 октября есть всенародный праздник – Хэллоуин.

Катя подарила мне книгу о художественной гимнастике «Спорт. Музыка. Грация.» и подписала:

«Будущему великому секретному физику от будущего скромного среднестатисческого инженера-электронщика в знаменательный день 31 октября 1987».

Я, конечно, не великий, не секретный и даже, что смешно, вовсе не физик, но что я хочу сделать сейчас это осуществить свою мечту!  Открыть танцевальную студию в Торонто сначала для взрослых, а потом и для детей.  А если бы я смогла открыть студию художественной гимнастики – вот это был бы класс!!!