Black Horoscope

Taurus

Your heaviness is matched only by your legendary slowness. Let’s not forget that you are as stubborn as a mule. However, isn’t it said that “only idiots don’t change their minds”? You are a fat materialist and you can’t see further than the end of your nose. You are greedy for profit, hence your possessive and even stingy side. “Let’s live to eat and let’s not eat to live” could well be your motto. Intellectual and abstract matters are well beyond you, since you are coarsely down to earth and simple. Lastly, you have no interest other than food and comfort, just like an animal that pigs out, and that is unable to think of anything else.

Source: http://www.astrotheme.com/files/black-zodiac.php

Black Horoscope

Aries

You are nothing but a primate. You charge headlong like a brute and you don’t have a clue what subtlety could mean. Moreover, you are a public danger because you are aggressive and totally unconscious, not to mention your excessive naïveté, and your simplistic and rough vision of things. The virtues of persistence seem to be totally unknown to you, which would boil down to a blunt: “The hell with the consequences!” In short, people only see in you some sort of rabid and quite simple-minded beast. To speak the truth, there is not much to add, for your nature is devoid of any interesting complexity.

Source: http://www.astrotheme.com/files/black-zodiac.php

...Pisces...begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW...

The Pisces Love Mystery

Just as the soul is symbolically “born” into the innocent thoughtlessness of Aries, it symbolically “dies” – or leaves the painful Earth plane – to enter into the sympathetic humility and mystical awareness of Pisces.  In the Piscean Sun Sign stage, evolving man and woman begin to comprehend vaguely the secret of Time as an eternal NOW – able to (in varying degrees) see the Past, Present and Future as one.  This is the soul’s third and final excursion into the sensitive Water Element – its fourth and final vibration as a Mutable Communicator – and the last experience under the feminine negative Night Forces.

Ideally, by the time the soul has reached the Pisces stage, it has attained spiritual enlightenment on its long journey through the Mysteries of Love experienced in the preceding eleven Sun Signs.  If not, then it must return to certain Sun Sign vibratory experiences on the astrological circle to learn lessons not absorbed because they were too hastily skimmed over in previous incarnated stages.  But each such return brings a new vulnerability to that Sun Sign lesson – a new inner urgency to master its positive essence and discard its negative.  Of course, some high or advanced souls, after reaching the Piscean stage, elect of their own choosing to return to Earth to rescue those still in darkness.  However, we are discussing here the average Pisces obligation and pattern.

Man and woman, on the Pisces level, have passed at least once through all twelve stages of initiation, and many have been required to fall back and retrace their steps hundreds of times in this experience, because Pisces is the most difficult of all the twelve Sun Signs to comprehend and master.  Usually such an accomplishment is not gained the first time around the wheel of life, except by intense desire and will, which is not to say such achievement is impossible – but it is a path, up until now, chosen by very few.  This is why astrology teaches that Pisces is “an old soul” – also the reason that on every Pisces man or woman is the epitome of spiritual grace; why some swim in waters dangerously close to the fires of Dante’s Inferno.  The Fish lives in two worlds, simultaneously experiencing both Heaven and Hell.

With the secret wisdom of the Piscean ruling planet, Neptune, Pisceans know that sadness and ugliness are not a part of God’s plan.  They have glimpsed the beauty of truth, and the brilliance of such mystical vision brings an urge to retreat from the negative vibrations of the Earth plane.  So Pisces often avoids confrontation and tension through the escape route of drugs, alcohol, daydreams, artistic creation, philosophical theorizing, meditation or religious retreat.  Pisceans may become teachers, monks, mystics, artists, musicians, composers, abstract mathematicians and highly intuitive scientists – or they may choose to swim down into the murky waters of alcoholism and drug addiction, even insanity.  It is, indeed, a difficult and complicated vibration for the soul, for this Sun Sign experience is fraught with temptation for the Pisces man or woman.

Because they’ve been “through it all” on a subconscious level, the Fishes have a natural compassion for the troubles of those around them.  The Neptunian soul is intimately familiar with life’s vicissitudes, understanding the weakness of human nature, therefore tending to pity, rather than to condemn, man’s and woman’s failings.  This is why these “old souls” so frequently become the recipients of everyone’s secrets, trials, worries and apprehensions.  Yet the initial instinct is to turn away form sticky entanglements in all forms.  Only when the Fish finds the courage to face his or her own problems with as much spiritual wisdom as is offered to others can the Neptune mysteries be fathomed.

Through this “death initiation” (death of the human ego) the soul grows more forgiving, more gentle, better able to understand its true relationship to the co-Creators…as Pisces affirms “I BELIEVE.”  To realize the full glory and truth of love, the Fish can, if he or she chooses, call on the innocence of Aries, the patience of Taurus, the awareness of Gemini, the perception of Cancer, the nobility of Leo, the discrimination of Virgo, the judgment of Libra, the penetration of Scorpio, the honesty of Sagittarius, the wisdom of Capricorn – and the humanitarianism of Aquarius.  But sometimes these many fragments of secret knowledge and talents serve only to confuse Pisces, causing the Fish to then take the easier path of passive nonresistance.

The Pisces positive qualities are humility, compassion, sensitivity, spiritual awareness, psychic comprehension, philosophic insight and a healing potential.  Expressed in their negative form they become timidity, apprehension, masochism, idleness, lying and weakness of will.

To Pisces, love is unselfish submission of the ego to the desires of the one needed to become Whole.  The Fish gains more pleasure from giving than from receiving, more happiness in serving than in being served.  Yet enigmatic Neptune tests the Pisces soul with the lure of multiple sexual and romantic experience – floating from one affair to another.

In such promiscuous manner – or by becoming a romantic recluse – does the wary Fish escape the dangers of being “hooked” by deep permanent emotional commitment.  But the Pisces man or woman who resists this temptation to avoid love’s pain by seeking only love’s pleasure…..is richly rewarded by the mastery of love’s final mystery.  He or she can then glimpse for the first time on the soul’s weary journey the true passion of blending in a trinity of mind, heart and spirit, resulting in a rare physical ecstasy – the ultimate Piscean fulfillment of Love’s long-ago Aries springtime promise of a miracle.

Dedicated to Lincoln Phayze who always goes with the flow except for the times when he doesn’t.  Both of us are lost…

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/b37bd4f91ab74c2b5be4a419893cfda7/

That was an advice from somebody like me.  The gentleman in question works in the arts (I almost said “arts industry” and I was appalled by the ugliness of the expression).  Correction:  he used to work in the arts, but now he is in as much mess as I am.  He told me that once he was taking the program “The Artist’s Way” and one of the requirements was keeping a diary.  Yes, a diary.  Keeping a diary in order to awaken one’s creativity, reconnect with one’s creativity, and welcome one’s creativity back.  So the rules were simple enough – you wake up and write three pages without letting the pen stop.  The rule to remember is “Don’t get it right, get it written…”

It is a very catchy and encouraging phrase.  But no matter how encouraging a phrase may be, it still took me a while to actually start writing in my diary.  But I did.  I have some “volumes” completed, mostly filled with crap worth only getting rid of (by shredding, this detail is very important! LOL), but it does not matter.  It was not right, it was written.  My web-site contains very little of my private diary entries, it is more polished and edited. Of course.  Which course?  Moving on…

Of course. Which course? Do we know where we go?

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/d09d182bdef53d9a4b384576a47df417/

Am I creative?  We all are supposed to be creative, by the way…

Well, anyway, when I started this web-site, it was nearly impossible to find things to write about, and I stopped almost as soon I started.  Then I came back to it and I was more or less consistent.  There were some large gaps due to my mood swings.  When I am depressed, I feel like drowning, when I am high, I feel as if I am resurfacing…and what does it have to do with water I have no idea…  Maybe because I am a Water Sign?  Sometimes I dream that I fly so high and so skillfully…

In my dreams I fly so much higher

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/9f878a2f026418e54ca53b7917b261e9/

Coming back to the gaps.  There some of them, all due to polarity of my moods, doubts, losing faith, not really knowing what to do.  The last one started early in May when I finally found a part-time job, started dancing more and generally was busy with I don’t even remember what.  But I tried to come back.  There must be something about writing that I either like or need or maybe both.  Self-expression?  Letting out the pain?  Sharing my experience?  Pleasure of typing? LOL – yeah, that must be it, “pleasure of typing” – exercising my fine motor skills.

Exercising fine motor skills

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/5dc33cf6576d5f43e0de16fa8bf43253/

But the idea of “not getting it right, but getting it written” is very appealing.  I was reading some of my own posts from January and it turned out to be pleasant enough.  I have already forgotten the pain and the joy and details.  And it was nice to come back and see – my insanity (at one point), my pain, my suffering, and the progress I made.  So the verdict is “YES”, the point may very well be ZERO, but I should keep at it.  My diary, my web-site, “My life, my universe and everything”.  Life goes on and diary is only a reflection.  We all love mirrors, don’t we?

Or yes, we do.  Reflections, reflections, reflections…

Source:  http://www.smashingapps.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/love-vectors.jpg

I have copied this article from LavaLife for one reason only – to come back to it a year later and see “Were the predictions even close to reality?”

Source: http://click.lavalife.com/horoscopes/ll1/2Sxy/8/scorpio

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Ruling Planet: Pluto
Symbol: Scorpion and Phoenix
Element: Water
Color: Red

Forget hibernating like a bear! In the New Year you haven’t got a moment to waste. The planetary movements for 2010 are vital to your personal growth and will help you release past beliefs and hindrances and awaken forgotten dreams so that you may enter into a new cycle of personal and professional success. This particular year will be one of transformation on an emotional and spiritual level, and quality of life should be your goal. 

Inspirational yet challenging planetary movements during the first half of 2010 will weed out unhealthy relationship and situations and inspire your creative and realistic ambitions. But the big news is that Jupiter will transit Pisces for most of the year. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or single, you are in for a lovely, romantic cycle. Jupiter’s transit of intuitive and sensitive Pisces gives you the creative edge and makes others remember why they love you.

Between April and July, Saturn will give you confidence in the future and set your curious mind on fire. If you can’t get away, take an online course, spend lunch in the museum or volunteer for a seminar or new assignment. Whatever you do, don’t allow this time to slip by without learning something new, meeting a few interesting people or adding to your résumé.

Jupiter will make a quick sojourn into Aries between June and September, creating an opportunity for you to expand in your present work situation or take on a few more responsibilities or part-time work that will lead to even bigger opportunities.

A friendship or partnership could hit a troubled spot in April, primarily over finances or creative differences and you may decide to part ways. But if you have second thoughts, why not step back and allow time to work his healing magic?

This year, Dr. Denis Waitley’s affirming words could inspire your belief in the endless possibilities of life: “There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them.” 

 

 

And who is going to be the lucky guy? Well, I doubt it is going to be a Water Bearer, but who knows…

 

 

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Ruling Planet: Uranus
Symbol: Water Carrier
Element: Air
Color: Violet, blue and pastels

Dear Aquarius, your life has been in the throes of transition for so long that you may wonder if you should trust fate when it offers you the keys to success and happiness. During this transitional year amazing support for your ideas or projects will come from surprising sources. Your assignment will be to open your mind and heart to the endless possibilities of life.

Your social skills will come in handy this year. Networking, new friends and throwing around ideas with colleagues will open the door to a new job, a juicy assignment, client or desired move.

Between May and August, your ruler Uranus will be under the influence of the enthusiastic and ambitions sign of Aries. This sojourn will give you a glimpse into 2011, when you will begin a new journey toward fulfilling a goal or ambition. Step out of your routine, travel, volunteer for a new project, try a new career path or take classes that will enhance your skills or résumé.

Use this energy wisely and you will make an investment that will help you reach a destination, which today eludes your wildest dreams.

The warrior planet Mars continues his disruptive transit of your house of partners until June. This dramatic planet can turn small disagreements into major arguments. At work, stay mindful of those with fragile egos or argumentative personalities and you will avoid being pulled into their personal dramas.

Venus’s presence in your sign between January and February will give love a chance to bloom. Between July and August, Cupid will shoot a few arrows your way. If you catch one, hold on because your sector of true love and commitment in 2011 is beyond beautiful, brilliant and defiantly worth the wait.

“Never be afraid to try something new.  Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.”  – Author Unknown

From Robert Greene “The 48 Laws of Power”.

Law 48 – Assume Formlessness

Page 419

Judgment

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack.  Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move.  Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed.  The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order.  Everything changes.

Source: http://www.eso.org/public/outreach/eduoff/vt-2004//mt-2003/mt-mercury-map6-normal.jpg

In martial arts, it is important that strategy be unfathomable, that form be concealed, and that movements be unexpected, so that preparedness against them be impossible.  What enables a good general to win without fail is always having unfathomable wisdom and a modus operandi that leaves no tracks.  Only the formless cannot be affected.  Sages hide in unfathomability, so their feelings cannot be observed; they operate in formlessness, so their lines cannot be crossed.

The Book of the Huainan Masters, China, Second Century B.C.

Character Armor

To carry out the instinctual inhibition demanded by the modern world and to be able to cope with the energy stasis which results from this inhibition, the ego has to undergo a change.  The ego, i.e., that part of the person that is exposed to danger, becomes rigid, as we say, when it is continually subjected to the same or similar conflicts between need and a fear-inducing outer world.  It acquires in this process a chronic, automatically functioning mode of reaction, i.e., its “character”.  It is as if the affective personality armored itself, as the hard shell it develops were intended to deflect and weaken the blows of the outer world as well as the clamoring of the inner needs.  This armoring makes the person less sensitive to unpleasure, but also restricts his libidinal and aggressive motility and thus reduces his capacity for achievement and pleasure.  We say the ego has become less flexible and more rigid, and that the ability to regulate the energy economy depends on the extent of the armoring.

Wilhelm Reich, 1897 – 1957

Observance of the law

When you want to fight us, we don’t let you and you can’t find us.  But when we want t fight you, we make sure that you can’t get away and we hit you squarely…and wipe you out… The enemy advances, we retreat; the enemy camps, we harass; the enemy tires, we attack; the enemy retreats, we pursue.

Mao Tse-Tung, 1893 – 1976

Keys to Power

The human animal is distinguished by its constant creation of forms.  Rarely expressing its emotions directly, it gives them form through language, or through socially acceptable rituals.  We cannot communicate our emotions without a form.

The forms that we create, however, change constantly – in fashion, in style, in all those human phenomena representing the mood of the moment.  We are constantly altering the forms we have inherited from previous generations, and these changes are signs of life and vitality.  Indeed, the things that don’t change, the forms that rigidify, come to look to us like death, and we destroy them.  The young show this most clearly: Uncomfortable with the forms that society imposes upon them, having no set identity, they play with their own characters, trying on a variety of masks and poses to express themselves.  This is the vitality that drives the motor of form, creating constant changes in style.

The powerful are often people who in their youth have shown immense creativity in expressing something new through a new form.  Society grants them power because it hungers for and rewards this sort of newness.  The problem comes later, when they often grow conservative and possessive.  They no longer dream of creating new forms; their habits congeal, and their rigidity makes them easy targets.  Everyone knows their next move.  Instead of demanding respect they elicit boredom: Get off the stage! We say, let someone else, someone younger, entertain us.  When locked in the past, the powerful look comical – they are overripe fruit, waiting to fall from the tree.

Power can only thrive if it is flexible in its forms.  To be formless is not to be amorphous; everything has a form – it is impossible to avoid.  The formlessness of power is more like that of water, or mercury, taking the form of whatever is around it.  Changing constantly, it is never predictable.  The powerful are constantly creating form, and their power comes from the rapidity with which they can change.  Their formlessness is in the eye of the enemy who cannot see what they are up to and so has nothing solid to attack.  This is the premier pose of power: ungraspable, as elusive and swift as the god Mercury, who could take any form he pleased and this ability to wreak havoc on Mount Olympus.

Human creations evolve toward abstraction, toward being more mental and less material.  This evolution is clear in art, which, in this century, made the great discovery of abstraction and conceptualism; it can also be seen in politics, which over time have become less overtly violent, more complicated, indirect and cerebral.  Warfare and strategy too have followed this pattern.  Strategy began in the manipulation of armies on land, positioning them in ordered formations; on land, strategy is relatively two dimensional, and controlled by topography.  But all the great powers have eventually taken to sea, for commerce and colonization.  And to protect their trading lanes they have had to learn how to fight at sea.  Maritime warfare requires tremendous creativity and abstract thinking, since the lines are constantly shifting.  Naval captains distinguish themselves by their ability to adapt to the literal fluidity of the terrain and to confuse the enemy with an abstract, hard-to-anticipate form.  They are operating in a third dimension: the mind.

Image:

Mercury.  The winged messenger, god of commerce, patron saint of thieves, gamblers, and all those who deceive through swiftness.  The day Mercury was born he invented the lyre; by that evening he had stolen the cattle of Apollo.  He would scour the world, assuming whatever form he desired.  Like the liquid metal named after him, he embodies the elusive, the ungraspable – the power of formlessness.

Authority:

Therefore the consummation of forming an army is to arrive at formlessness. Vitory in war is not repetitious, but adapts its form endlessly… A military force has no constant formation, water has no constant shape: The ability to gain victory by changing and adapting according to the opponent is called genius.

(Sun-tzu, fourth century B.C.)

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

It is a Saturday, a sunny and cold day in Toronto.  In 1993, February 6^th was a Saturday, it was sunny in the morning and cold, the roads were slippery (talk about signs!!!), but then it warmed up enough for a real snow storm in the night.

So, today is my wedding anniversary with my first husband to whom I am no longer married.  I am not divorced from him either.  The divorce is still in the process…

I often wonder when the break up really happened and who broke what… and honestly I don’t know.  The saddest part is that I still care.  The best part is… well, the best part remains to be discovered.

Another chapter in my journey.  As much as I am unable to do anything these days or write anything, I could not miss this day.  I should make a post.  And, surprisingly enough it turns out to be the post # 342 (here it comes again, my number 42).  Madness?  Eccentricity? 

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Remarriage is the triumph of hope over experience…”

 

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman.

 

 

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

 

 

“I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can’t be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn’t happened. But weddings always make me cry.” – Brendan Behan (1923-64) Irish playwright.

 

 

“Three rings of marriage: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”

 

 

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – George Burns.

 

 

“Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), British philosopher, Marriage and Morals.

 

 

“Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.” – Jim Backus.

 

 

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates.

 

 

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.” –Cher

I don’t really know, how other Scorpios deal with Water Bearers, but my experience just happens to confirm what I read in Linda Goodman’s book.  Or maybe I just fit what I read into my experience.  Does it really matter?

Well, anyway, this post is dedicated to Water Bearers I keep meeting.  The sign begins on January 21 and ends on February 19.  I know two of them; one is born at the beginning and the other right at the end of the sign.  And there are plenty in-between.  And, yes, if you read to the end, THEY DO BELONG IN THE MONKEY HOUSE!

But still, I guess “Happy Birthday” to them all and “Beware!”, “Be Patient!” and “Let them be!” to me.

But why do I feel that the Monkey in our relationship is me? The other one is on the receiving end...

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The SCORPIO – AQUARIUS Relationship

From Linda Goodman’s “Love Signs”, page 743

…they are very wild and difficult of approach.

Yes, there are.  Both of them.  And so, at the outset, I’ll say that I am not going to take sides with either of these squared Sun Signs of the 4-10 vibrational pattern.  Throughout this chapter, I intend to remain in the middle, neutral, like Canada and Switzerland.  On second thought, the literal middle may not be a safe place to be.  One is then wide open and exposed to becoming the recipient of whatever these two may fling at each other, like words, baseball bats, boomerangs, yo-yos, hula hoops, Frisbees, insults, compliments, rage, respect – any number of unexpected things.

However, moving right along, and still bravely trying t remain in the middle, it must be admitted that Aquarians are very wild, undeniably – and that Scorpios are difficult of approach, indisputably.  Ergo, therefore, i.e.: as a combination, the Water Bearer and the Eagle are indeed very wild and difficult of approach.  Separately or together, but especially together.

One wonders how these two ever manage to get together in the first place.  One also wonders if it is wise for these two to get together, in the second place.  The square between their Sun Signs admittedly creates a certain amount of tension (like, each thinks the other is playing with half a deck, has bats in the belfry and is completely loco – you get the general idea), but in astrology, tension is synonymous with energy (also in physics; therefore, ever more so in meta-physics).  So let’s say that there is a lot of …uh, energy (we are being tactful) between 4-10 Sun Sign Pattern like Scorpio-Aquarius.  The problem is – no, let’s try to be positive – the question is: What are the Eagle and the Water Bearer going to do with this tremendous flow of tension (I mean energy) passing back and forth between them?  Are they going to channel it into senseless conflict – or into the kind of powerful energy that makes windmills spin, ships sail, trains run, birds fly …. And spacecraft break the time barrier?

Just because someone looks upon life through one end of a telescope, and you gaze through the other, is no reason to quarrel and fuss.  If it were the same telescope, you’d see that you were both gazing at each other.  (Well, hello there! Fancy meeting you, of all people, in the middle of a telescope!)  Of course, one pair of eyes would look smaller, the other larger, because that’s how telescopes are made, but you are not a telescope.  You are an Aquarian, who should not take such a distorted view of all Scorps as sneaky, conservative, ruthless, stingy nasties.  And you are an Eagle, who must stop taking such a distorted view of all Water Bearers as people who belong in the monkey house at the zoo, except that the monkeys might object.  That kind of energy wouldn’t power a windmill so much as half a turn, chug a train out of the station or lift a bird from the branch of a tree, wings or no wings.

********************************************************************

Throwing things at Aquarians – absolutely!  What infuriating creatures!

However…

********************************************************************

“Yet, when the Air and Water elements get together as two Sun Signs, and really work at harmony the result can be as inspiring, uplifting and intoxicating as the scent of fresh rain, mixed with the air of spring, falling on new-mown hay or grass.  Is there any fragrance on this Earth more gorgeous and bursting with miracles than this?  You don’t have to live on a farm or in the country to answer in the affirmative.  Wet city sidewalks, freshly rained upon, coupled with the warm air of spring, will have the same dizzying effect upon the sensitive soul.

[…] I hope (seriously) that this paragraph has impressed you with the possibilities of beauty in an association between Aquarius and Scorpio when they both work at it.  It takes some self-sacrifice, but it’s so worthwhile.

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Harmony?  What a temptation!

From: me

Subject: Pictures

To: Libra Man

I am certainly not a morning person, more of a night owl, but these few days are an exception for me.  I just could not sleep.  I got a new job and maybe it is stress, I do not really know.  These guys that I met were not about chemistry at all – all they wanted was sex on their terms – not strings attached.  They need a woman to be on a “booty call” and they could not care less about her.  I am putting it bluntly, of course, they use “normal” acceptable phraseology, but it all boils down to sex only.  But that category was to respond first and first to come (of course! they are motivated)!!!.

That is what I personally do not understand.  I am a caring person; I care about my friends, my neighbours, people on the street and complete strangers.  I don’t have to be asked to help; I am always the first one to offer.

But I now, I learned “their language”, and I see them immediately.  It took me a week to eliminate this category and I have only been on LavaLife for a week.

I did respond to you, because I have a strategy.  I am being pro-active.  I take charge.  But it does not mean that a telephone number is an invitation to bed.  It is part of the process.  First we make contact, exchange e-mails, then talk on the phone and then a cup of coffee.  It is very similar to a job interview.  I am totally done with IM – it is insane and it is nothing but a waste of time.

I am trying to adjust the process as I go.  By the way, I always ask guys how it is going for them, because I am genuinely interested.  You are the only one to give me such a story.  Everybody else says that is going fine, thank you very much.

By the way, I could not see you that well on the picture either.

Do not worry about my number, just take your time.  A lot of guys do not call anyways.  The reason is that they are not interested.  The only thing that bothers me – why then they use the service if it costs so much.

Svetlana

——————————————————————————–

From: Libra Man

To: me

Sent: Tuesday, June 30, 2009 4:51:58 AM

Subject: RE: Pictures

Hey Svetlana, thanks for the pics..you look good to me

And I appreciate your openness..

But no, I didn’t think giving me your number was an invitation to bed lol.

It sounds like it’s all or nothing, and that’s where it stands for you. I understand that. I don’t know if I’m your type, but I can call you sometime if you’re still interested..maybe take it from there?

Here are a few other pics.

Libra Man

Date: Wed, 1 Jul 2009 08:09:21 -0700

From: me

Subject: My type?

To: Libra Man

How can I decide whether you are my type or not?  I haven’t even talked to you and I haven’t even met you.  Pictures are pictures, they do not tell much.  If you were to buy a real estate, would you go by a description and a picture?  If you were to buy new clothes, wouldn’t you try it on?

http://www.altrealm.com/conversations/2008-08-30/signs/

Read this short story “Signs”.  You only have “to flip coins”, when you do not know what it is exactly that you want.  When you know what you want, you will do it.  It is very easy, just common sense.

Besides, I did not understand what you mean exactly by “all or nothing”?  Does it really exist in this world?  I have a lot in my life – my family, my son, my friends and a new and exciting job.  Finding a man is not easy, but it is only a matter of time.  I am a “go-get-girl”, but not in a romantic relationship.  I am a woman and I want to be treated like one.  My femininity is not of a regular quality, but I can bet you anything, these simple and ordinary women have not a clue how to be seductive.  And no, dressing up the part is not enough.  Playing the part requires talent and skill, not a costume.

I never pursue men.  Never, ever, ever.

Weak, indecisive, wishy-washy, boring is certainly not my type.

Svetlana

From: Libra Man

To: me

Sent: Wednesday, July 1, 2009 5:47:51 PM

Subject: RE: My type?

 Re ‘type’ -that’s all I meant…  just expressing a little doubt

You know EXACTLY what ‘all or nothing’ means. It exists to 99% of all women! How many women do you know that are in a relationship just for the sex? If it doesn’t come with any more than that, it would be VERY short-lived.

You’ve been on lava for a week? I’ve been on it on/off for 14 yrs. It’s been little more than a social experiment, and the results aren’t encouraging. I’ve found most women are on it for attention, ego stroking, and teasing. I can lecture you on weak, indecisive, wishy-washy, boring, ..not to mention fickle Men have to pay to use the site, so we’re not in it to waste time/effort.

I’ve had a number of gfs off the site, but they were compromises. I’ve always believed having something is better than nothing..may be sad, but realistic.

I have to say, I liked your take on your ‘femininity’ So true about women just looking the part. I do find you a little intriguing

Libra Man

Date: Wed, 1 Jul 2009 15:37:53 -0700

From: me

Subject: Re: My type?

To: Libra Man

I felt like you were screaming at me.

Svetlana

From: Libra Man

To: me

Sent: Thursday, July 2, 2009 2:34:51 AM

Subject: RE: My type?

Sorry. Just venting Guess we both expressed a little frustration.

To let you know, I work nights from Mon-Thurs, so I can try calling you sometime Fri night or the weekend? I’m nicer on the phone ..and in person.

You set off any fireworks last night?         Libra Man

Date: Thu, 2 Jul 2009 00:20:39 -0700

From: me

Subject: Re: My type?

To: Libra Man

Apologies accepted.  I was not frustrated at all.  That is all in the past when I did not know enough about people, about myself and I could not communicate effectively.  Now, it became much much easier.  It is a skill, which can be developed.  Well, moving on.  I am supposed to work on Friday and Saturday from 9 am to 5 pm, but it might change.  The other person who was hired to work with me, has quit, so the schedule might be different.  You can try and call me, but I prefer when you let me know before you call (send an e-mail or something).  Otherwise I will be in the middle of something and it always feels a bit awkward.

I did not set any fireworks myself.  But my son was invited by his girlfriend to see Fireworks and I saw them all over the city from my balcony (I live in a Penthouse).  But that was certainly not the best part of my day.

Good night, night owl

Svetlana

I was in Downtown, I have just had my hair done, but I did not have any make up and honestly speaking I did not feel so attractive.  However, something happened.  Out of the Blue.

I noticed Him, he passed me by and then suddenly returned.  The conversaion went:

He: “Excuse me, can I ask you a question?  Do you have a boyfriend?”

I: I just laughed and laughed (he did catch me off guard. Entirely!)

I: hesitated for a while, but then pointed at my “GUESS” t-shirt and said that today it is my answer  for all the questions.  I laughed again.

He: If you don’t have a boyfriend, I will move straight ahead.

I: What is your sign?

He: My sign?! “Stop”

I: Well, my sign is “GO”! So we don’t match.

He became very angry and said: “Do you realize how difficult it is to find a man in Toronto?”

I: I laughed again, because since I joined Lavalife meeting men became quite easy.

He: You know what?  Your sign is “POINT OF NO RETURN”!

He turned and disappeared.  And I thought “What the hell?!”

No, really, what the what?  Any comments?