the actual adolescents’ changing moods puzzle them as much as they puzzle their families

The Cancer Love Mystery

The child is now an Adolescent, the soul having evolved to the stage of Cancer, hovering between childhood and maturity, longing to be grown-up, yet hesitating to cross over to the other side.  Cancer brings back awareness of the negative feminine and reflective Night Forces.  But this second experience of night is blended with a new, richer and even more sensual feeling (which was only a poetic inspiration, not yet a true reality, on the earlier Taurean level), for a change of seasons has occurred.   The spring awakening has deepened into a mid-summer night’s dream in all its full-blown and fragrant beauty for these Cancerian Oberon and Titania men and women.

Now the moody, sensitive, “Adolescent” soul vacillates between childish dependence and the maddeningly enticing, beckoning world of adulthood (what is like to be a man or a woman?).  This is beautifully expressed by the experiments between the human and faerie worlds in Taurean Shakespeare’s famed classic.  Is it sad or happy…funny or tragic?  The symbolic “Puckish” Cancerian Adolescent observes the adults (humans) in the environment, uncannily perceptive of everything seen and heard.  But this grown-up, material world so intensely watched hints of frequent disillusion.

And so the dreams of Cancer are troubled, causing the Crab to cry out in the night, sometimes dragging the old symbolic Taurus Teddy Bear out of the closet, and hugging it closely when no one can see.  As with Cancerian men and women, the actual adolescents’ changing moods puzzle them as much as they puzzle their families.  But those terrors are very real to Cancerians, who fear that maturity will mean the loss of security known with the parents, especially the mother.  Will future strangers ever fuss over the Crabs and love them as unconditionally as mother?  Cancer is beginning to suspect that they won’t.

Unable to explain their apprehensions, the Crabs turn secretive, dreaming alone – or hide and pout, imagining that no one understands.  On the Cancer level, the possible loss of parental protection haunts the subconscious.  Cancer has already learned what loss is.  Perhaps childhood friends have moved away, the family has changed residences, the old familiar neighbourhood is gone.  The world is no longer so exciting as the Crabs sense its hidden pitfalls.  The “Adolescent” Cancerian men and women know that growing up will surely bring unexpected hurt, so they cling to what they know can be trusted – yesterday.

Because the new perceptions are so acute, Cancer sees a combination of tragedy and comedy in Life as it expands in his awareness through his first excursion into the sensitive Water Element.  Still, despite an innate shyness, the Cancerian soul will not be pushed into the background, for this is the second experience as a Cardinal leader, which can turn illogical fear into sensible caution.  The Crabs wish on both the Full Moon and the New, only half-conscious of what it is they wish for……reluctant t find out.  What does tomorrow hold?  Sentiment moves the Cancerian Adolescent soul to tears.  Motivated by the need to hide true emotions, the Crabs say: “I FEEL” – then, so no one will suspect they feel so deeply, they make jokes, believing they fool people.  If not handled tenderly at this crucial stage of soul evolvement, the Cancerian man or woman develops a permanent, hard, protective shell against the cruel world.

Cancer’s positive qualities are imagination, tenacity, tenderness, sensitivity, care and caution.  Expressed in their negative form they become stinginess, irritability, melancholy, clinging and cowardice, possessiveness and moodiness.

To Cancer, as to the actual uncertain and sentimental adolescent, love has become important again, above all else.  But it is now synonymous with home, representing emotional security – and the need for love is so great it must be disguised behind moody tears and Lunar laughter.

Victor Pelevin “The Sacred Book of Werewolf”

I cannot say that she was especially good-looking.  On those occasions when I saw her after a long separation, I was amazed at how this skinny little creature with such fierce eyes could have become everything for me – love, life, death, the salvation of my soul.  But she only had to meet my glance, and everything changed.  First of all a started doubt that she was loved would appear in those green eyes.  At that moment it was obvious that there was nothing to love her for, and every time I experienced a wave of pity, merging into tenderness.  But she soaked up those feelings like a sponge soaking up wine, and immediately blossomed into a tormenting beauty that could drive a man insane.  A brief exchange of glances changed everything.  A moment before it, I was not able to understand how this essentially unlovely woman could have enthralled me, and afterwards I could not grasp how I could have doubted even for a minute the magical power of her features.  And the longer I gazed into her eyes, the stronger this feeling became, rousing me to ecstasy, to a state of physical pain – as if she had thrust a knife into a crack in the wall behind which I was trying to hide and, with a few swift movements of the blade, had loosened the brickwork so much that the wall had collapsed and I was left standing before her once again, as naked and defenseless as a child.  I have studied this metamorphosis through and through, but I have still not learned to understand the nature of the fire that has seared my soul and reduced it to ashes.

Alas it is true: beauty is like fire, it burns and consumes, driving you insane with its heat, promising that in the place to which it drives its victim there will be calm, cool shade and new life – but that is a deception.  Or rather, it is all true – but not for the victim, only for the new life that will take the victim’s place, and then also be consumed by this pitiless demon.

Victor Pelevin “The Sacred Book of Werewolf”

The cause of error by living beings is that they believe it is possible to cast aside the false and attain unto the truth.  But when you attain unto yourself, the false becomes true, and there is no other truth to which one need attain after that.