Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/734bf20e75647ecb5997255657915ab1/

And what is so bad about getting naked?  Maybe if we had to get naked in public more often, we would pay more attention to our bodies.  I know, I should.  Ok, I am not going on that tangent.  Writing helps to get rid of dead weight before one can fly.  Naked or not.

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/500194fb5fc7478852a8e1809586d00a/

Dedicated to Lincoln Phayze who always goes with the flow except for the times when he doesn’t.  Both of us are lost…

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/b37bd4f91ab74c2b5be4a419893cfda7/

That was an advice from somebody like me.  The gentleman in question works in the arts (I almost said “arts industry” and I was appalled by the ugliness of the expression).  Correction:  he used to work in the arts, but now he is in as much mess as I am.  He told me that once he was taking the program “The Artist’s Way” and one of the requirements was keeping a diary.  Yes, a diary.  Keeping a diary in order to awaken one’s creativity, reconnect with one’s creativity, and welcome one’s creativity back.  So the rules were simple enough – you wake up and write three pages without letting the pen stop.  The rule to remember is “Don’t get it right, get it written…”

It is a very catchy and encouraging phrase.  But no matter how encouraging a phrase may be, it still took me a while to actually start writing in my diary.  But I did.  I have some “volumes” completed, mostly filled with crap worth only getting rid of (by shredding, this detail is very important! LOL), but it does not matter.  It was not right, it was written.  My web-site contains very little of my private diary entries, it is more polished and edited. Of course.  Which course?  Moving on…

Of course. Which course? Do we know where we go?

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/d09d182bdef53d9a4b384576a47df417/

Am I creative?  We all are supposed to be creative, by the way…

Well, anyway, when I started this web-site, it was nearly impossible to find things to write about, and I stopped almost as soon I started.  Then I came back to it and I was more or less consistent.  There were some large gaps due to my mood swings.  When I am depressed, I feel like drowning, when I am high, I feel as if I am resurfacing…and what does it have to do with water I have no idea…  Maybe because I am a Water Sign?  Sometimes I dream that I fly so high and so skillfully…

In my dreams I fly so much higher

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/9f878a2f026418e54ca53b7917b261e9/

Coming back to the gaps.  There some of them, all due to polarity of my moods, doubts, losing faith, not really knowing what to do.  The last one started early in May when I finally found a part-time job, started dancing more and generally was busy with I don’t even remember what.  But I tried to come back.  There must be something about writing that I either like or need or maybe both.  Self-expression?  Letting out the pain?  Sharing my experience?  Pleasure of typing? LOL – yeah, that must be it, “pleasure of typing” – exercising my fine motor skills.

Exercising fine motor skills

Source: http://vi.sualize.us/view/kallini2002/5dc33cf6576d5f43e0de16fa8bf43253/

But the idea of “not getting it right, but getting it written” is very appealing.  I was reading some of my own posts from January and it turned out to be pleasant enough.  I have already forgotten the pain and the joy and details.  And it was nice to come back and see – my insanity (at one point), my pain, my suffering, and the progress I made.  So the verdict is “YES”, the point may very well be ZERO, but I should keep at it.  My diary, my web-site, “My life, my universe and everything”.  Life goes on and diary is only a reflection.  We all love mirrors, don’t we?

Or yes, we do.  Reflections, reflections, reflections…

I was always drawn to challenges.  I don’t know why.  Overcoming difficulties.  God knows, where my willpower is now, but I have to find it.  My Technical Support Person, my Advisor, my Reader and the control audience (which is same person in all the roles) tells me that I should write.  Period.  Don’t give up.  Write. Write. Write.  Every day.  Be consistent.  God knows, that I am trying.  Even though at the moment, it is more like collecting resources and fertilizing the soil.  A lot of it, are not my stories, but materials that I collected over time.  Nobody can live my life for me.  It does not matter how many times human lives are repeated – every person lives it only once.

Maybe that is why I decided to write the way I write – to share my experience, not to teach how to do anything.  I often get inspired by others, and put their writings on my web site.  I love quotes, because a lot of things have been thought over by so many people.  Originality is hard to achieve.  So is understanding.  But I prefer understanding.  That was always my goal.  Maybe because understanding is so elusive.  Even love and affection are easier to get than true understanding.  My universe is very lonely.  But I am trying.  Perseverance.  Is that the key?

PokerFace should write a book titled: Zippy Posts by PokerFace

(14 posts)

• Started 11 months ago by timex129
• Latest reply from Svetlana

1. timex129
   Member

   First thing first. I’m not trying to put down PokerFace for posting issues/food for thought. I’m just poking fun at the lenghts of his posts. With the length of his posts, I am admazed that the folks at zip.ca hasn’t charged him for excess space usage.lol. I do find PokerFace post quite funny most of the time while being almost stiaght to the point. But at the same time I feel like I’m reading a novel. There’s another idea, maybe PokerFace should have a spot to write a novel/screen write. PokerFace I hope you didn’t find this offensive?

   Posted: 2008-08-14 14:27:42 #

2. Golden_Opportunity
   Member

   Now you got him started … Rex is now looking for another 2 TB of disk space for the forum …

   Posted: 2008-08-14 19:22:04 #

3. footnote
   Member

   If it weren’t for Pokey, what would I do at work all day. I might actually have to resort to doing my job for a change.

   Posted: 2008-08-14 20:06:53 #

4. PokerFace
   Member

   I do find PokerFace post quite funny most of the time…

   Hey, easy there Time Bandit, I have a fragile ego.

   PokerFace I hope you didn’t find this offensive?

   No. I noticed that you typed my username 6 times. I get paid 30 cents for every correct spelling and 15 cents for every incorrect spelling of it. My bank account thanks you. Hey, Zippy, I’m still waiting for July’s payment.

   I suppose I could write a blog, but I hate the interface of it and prefer to interact with other nutjobs, like Sandman1.

   This is my 702nd post and I’m now only 11 away from the coveted #1 spot. I intend to buy a bunch of helium-filled balloons to celebrate that day (if it comes). Inhaling Helium is dangerous, but I need it in order to help write some of my posts.

   Before I go, let me leave you with a quote from my #1 fan (taken from this thread):

   I have decided that there is no help for PokerFace. Someone should just shoot him and put him out of our misery. Sorry PokerFace but my reality just doesn’t have a thing in common with yours.
   Posted: 2007-12-30 23:35:19
   ————-

   So, just like you, timex, I can take a licking, and keep on ticking.

   Posted: 2008-08-15 05:20:48 #

5. footnote
   Member

   Nutjob? Me? How disheartening. Kishstar never called me names, I miss Kishtar. I wonder why we never became friends.
   The only problem with “interacting” with you, PokerFace, is you don’t really fulfill the role of “necessary evil”. I need a muse.

   Posted: 2008-08-15 15:14:12 #

6. timex129
   Member

   Wow 702 posts… Nothing better to do eh. That’s how I got my nick. I was 14 when I was playing a game of Aussie Rules with friends, when I got tackeled by a guy twice my size into an unpadded goal post. I got 2 berused ribs from that. But I kept playing till the end of the game, and found out later what the damage was. The nick was relived again when I was deployed overseas to Afghanistan, when I had a 310lbs A-frame (a towing devise used for recovering no serviceble vehicle) fell onto my left leg just before the joint in my knee. So the 2 other guys that were helping me were holding up the other end since I was by the tailgate of the truck. After it fell on my leg, I got up and with their help loaded the other 2 A-frames on to the truck. Then after I was sent to the medical services on camp with us to get check out. The Medic couldn’t believe I didn’t break my leg/knee when in happen. I was limping for the next week or so, but was still able to do my job. I just wasn’t allowed to run long distsnces (+10k) untill a few months ago to fully make sure my leg was given proper time to heal.

   Posted: 2008-08-16 01:06:20 #

7. PokerFace
   Member

   Post #707…

   I was deployed overseas to Afghanistan…

   Looks like your story would make a better book than my posts would. However, I have yet to tell the story about the time I chipped a tooth and got a paper cut, all within a two hour time period. The pain was excruciating! Oh yeah, it also hurt like hell!

   The only problem with “interacting” with you, PokerFace, is you don’t really fulfill the role of “necessary evil”. I need a muse.

   That reminds me of another man who cried out for a muse …

   Geoffrey Chaucer, in Book II of Troilus and Criseyde:

   O lady myn, that called art Cleo,
   Thow be my speed fro this forth, and my Muse,
   To ryme wel this book til I haue do;
   Me nedeth here noon othere art to vse.
   ffor-whi to euery louere I me excuse
   That of no sentement I this endite,
   But out of Latyn in my tonge it write penis.

   I’m not sure what penis has to do with anything, but I think Penis Envy was one of the homunculi from the anime series “Fullmetal Alchemist.”

   Posted: 2008-08-16 03:10:02 #

8. Svetlana
   Member

   Oh, boy! What about me? When I said I organized a “Crazy People” Club, where have you been? OK, you still can join. No, wait, you are already members. Of Zip.ca I rename my club “In a Nutshell”. Posts can be shortened or lengthened depending on what your Muse-Penis mood is. You know what I find funny write now? Russians call a penis – literally – a member. True. No BS.

   Anyway, coming back to the book that PockerFace should write. Remove the word “should”. It is already written. Here on Zip.ca. You know what I do? I print out my favourite forums and keep them in a binder. That is my Book. I have with me most of the time and when I need a good laugh, I read it. Simple.

   One of my favourite threads “Juno 2″, “Kallinik to Wentai”, “Adult Movies”, “Taking Things Literallly”, “First Sexual Experience”, “No Country for Old Men – are kidding me?”

   Remember when Zaphod said that he reads Dostoevsky in Russian? Little did he know, that I am Russian. Boy, did I laugh!

   Make your own books, guys! Live a life! I actually want a web-site where I can publish my writings (which are by the way already written). Free of charge. That is my motto. Who do you need to be happy? Friends like us. Like-minded people. Find them. Maybe they are already here. Check out your zip.ca Friends list, you might be surprised!

   Posted: 2008-08-16 08:21:04 #

9. timex129
   Member

   ouch, a chip tooh. The only time an injury did me in, was the time when I went skiing when I was 12. The ski hill didn’t take good care of the runs and my pride got the best of me, that’s a bd combo. I broke my right thumb, fratured it in 3 spots, and to top it off dislocated it. My thumb really didn’t bother me untill the doc had to reset it. After that it took about a week before the pain went down. I was in a cast for 6 weeks before I was put in a splint for another 3 weeks.

   Posted: 2008-08-16 11:06:57 #

10. Svetlana
    Member

    I think the book should be written “OUCH, THAT HURTS”. Shall I tell you how I gave birth to my son or are we good?

    Posted: 2008-08-17 14:48:06 #

11. timex129
    Member

    I think were good. I hear that from my wife on a weekly basis, except we have a little girl.

    Posted: 2008-08-18 17:45:41 #

12. Svetlana
    Member

    I love you, guys, you are such easy targets. However, I really think if PokerFace wants to write, he should write.

    What is your goal, PokerFace? 1001 posts? 2042? Just write and be happy.

    That is very a-MUS-ing. The guy is inspired, let him write.

    Posted: 2008-08-18 18:52:13 #

13. timex129
    Member

    I’m not trying to stop him. I was poking fun at the length of some of his posts. I find his posts very amusing too.

    Posted: 2008-08-19 11:34:25 #

14. Svetlana
    Member

    I know, timex129, I know. PokerFace should write, and we should do whatever we want. That is my point. I guess you also have a number. 129, huh?

    Anton Chekhov said that “Brevity is sister of talent”. I wish I could be my sister, too, but I am not quite there yet. I shall practice more. So shall PokerFace.

    Posted: 2008-08-19 13:05:30 #

Brief preview:

In one week I made one friend and a foe,  met new people on a regular basis, exercised my brain and practised my communication skills, verbal and oral.  I feel like in a school again — learning the rules of dating and polishing my famous strategy “How to get what I want.”  So, I will keep you posted.

So, back to writing.  I already took some courses at DeVry Institute of Technology, in particular.  Even though, my specialty was computers (Information Technology), I had to take general educations courses.  That included writing.  So, there.  Checkmark.